[[[忘羡 | WangXian 1]] : The Second Kiss That Came Too Soon

[19.] Love, defined.

He had to start the day. Lan Zhan did his best to get out of their makeshift bed, without waking up Wei Ying. Yet, with his first, and slightest movement:

- No... - Wei Ying mumbled, burying his face into Lan Zhan's neck. –  Nooo... umm... no.

- Wei Ying.... –  Lan Zhan said quietly – I have to go.

- Don't care... No. – Wei Ying tightened his octopus grip all over the slender body of the Lan boy.

Lan Zhan smiled. He wondered whether he should feel flattered, or Wei Ying was just teasing him again. He tried to move – a not very serious effort, but the snake-like grip over him somehow miraculously tightened. Sometimes he forgot just how strong Wei Wuxian was as well.

- Mmmm...no. No!  –  more mumbling.  –  I'm not letting you go... No. -  there was some chewing of hair now, and Wei Ying moved down, annoyed by all the messed up hair that was between them. Now his face was burrowed in Lan Zhan's chest.

- Don't leave me Lan Zhan... -  he whined. –  I am cold...and I think I am hungry... -  he tried another tactic to keep his lover in bed longer.

Lan Wangji tried to remove him with some force, a little exasperated at this childishness.

 Another wail:

- Please, don't go... Lan Zhan... why do you want to leave me.... Everybody leaves me... - Wei Ying was pouting now, propping himself up and straddling Lan Zhan over. – Besides, where are you going???  It is still dark  outside... Why...???   –  he was sulking.

- Enough.   –  Lan Wangji removed him with a single movement, and Wei Ying bit his lip – he was loath to admit that Lan Zhan was much stronger than him. Then he sighed.

- Go then. Go... Leave me here alone to worry about you! – he waved theatrically. – Don't blame me if you get eaten by wolves!  –  he huffed.

- There are no wolves in this mountain. – Lan Zhan said  matter-of-factly.

- Why the hell are you so  annoying?!?  –  Wei Ying snapped at him, but turned his face away so that the other boy would not see him giggling. He shivered a little and wrapped himself in all possible robes they had. –  Leaving me here all alone... - he mumbled – with the wolves,  and the cold, and the...the...the evil spirits... alone!  –  he rolled his eyes.

Once again he admired the Lan Clan training, though. Just like yesterday, it seemed like Lan Zhan felt no cold at all. He was towering over him now, stark naked, hands on his hips, frowning a little. He was taking the whole thing all too seriously, and maybe telling him that "he was abandoning Wei Wuxian" wasn't the best form of blackmail right now. Wei Ying took a mental note of that.

- Wei Ying, we have a task, and we must do it. I am taking patrols today, and will do some hunting. I am also taking the horse.  –  Lan Zhan was explaining patiently, as if talking to a small child.

Wei Wuxian was sulking for real now. This meant Lan Zhan was going to be away the whole day.

- The horse? – he raised his eyebrows.

- Yes. I will attempt to catch up with my brother along the river, and get some supplies from their party. Xichen is always prudent that way, I have no doubt. It won't be wise to spend another cold night like that. – he gestured towards the shivering Wei Wuxian and the meagre fire hardly burning now.

- Sooo...  – Wei Ying wailed.  –  ...now you want us to sleep in separate  beds for the rest of the hunt, huh? – He was being melodramatic, but he hated to admit that his heart was hurting a little, fearing Lan Zhan's answer to this. – Are you already tired of me,  Lan Zhan????  –  he offered bitterly.

The tall boy fell to his knees in front of him, cupped his cheek in the palm of his hand and said gently:

- I would never be tired of you, Wei Ying. And there is nothing in this world I would like more than to wake up next to you every single morning, for the rest of my days.

His eyes were so full of tenderness that Wei Ying whispered, this time with all the seriousness he could muster:

-Please, don't leave... I will miss you terribly, Lan Zhan.

- I know. I will miss you too. I will hurry as much as I can. This is why I wanted to set out so early, while you were still sleeping....  –  he sighed. – But I'm glad we talked, Wei Ying.

Wei Ying smiled and gave him a small tender kiss, handing him over his robes.

- Be safe, Lan Zhan. Please come back soon.

- I promise.

***


And he was gone.

Wei Wuxian was left all alone with his thoughts. Alone. 

He had most definitely been all alone before, but he could not remember feeling so lonely ever before. Like he was all alone in the whole world. He had known genuine intimacy – and now that it was removed from him, the sense of loss was devastating.

Was this love?