August 1, 2013
While on the bus, I was sitting on the couch in the lounge room. I was playing on the X-Box. Calum walked in and said, "Mikey, you up for a game of FIFA?"
"No.. Not now," I told him. He then walked away. I felt bad, but I just wanted to play my game. Also, I was really starting to miss Sydney and Natalie.
Ashton walked into the room then sat down next to me. He looked really worried. He looked at me still playing my game. He sighed then said, "Mikey.. What's it like to be a dad?"
I stopped playing my game for a minute. I took my headphones off and began to answer him.
"Well, it's amazing. It's a big responsibility, but whenever you hold the baby in your arms for the first time, you think 'wow.. This is my child. I created this.' That's what I thought when I first found out Natalie was mine. I feel like I have so many responsibilities, but I don't care about the responsibilities. I just care that I have Natalie, and also I care that I have Sydney. I have my own little family, and I love that feeling," I explained.
"What does it feel like to be away from them on tour for so long?" He wondered.
"It's the worst feeling in the world," I began to explain.
"Oh.." He said and his head dropped into his lap.
"I feel like the responsibilities I have aren't being completed. I feel like I'm slacking off helping with Natalie. I feel like my parents and Sydney have to do all of the work. And I feel so bad because of that. But then, when we have a break, I'm so relieved to be able to see them again," I continued but didn't finish.
"That's good," Ashton breathed.
"But then when the break is over I feel like I'm slacking again, but Sydney tells me that I'm following my dream, and this is my dream. She tells me I'm bringing in money for us, and that's good, because she can't work. It's okay being on tour, but I really begin to miss them, you know? I miss them even more than my own parents.. It sounds bad to say it, but I do," I finally finished.
"Wow. Thanks Mikey," he smiled.
"One more thing, Ashton.. Why were you wondering about all of that stuff?"
"I- I'm going to be a dad..."
"You're what?"
"I'm going to be a dad.. Sophia and I found out that she's pregnant this morning from the night at the bar on my birthday."
"Oh, wow.. Congrats, Ashton!"
"Thanks. Also, thanks for the advice, even though you didn't think it was advice for me.."
"You're welcome. Any time Ash," I told him, "and if you have any other questions ask me anytime."
"I'll remember that," he said, walking away. I was glad I could help him, but I was still shocked he was going to be a dad.
~
I feel like this is way too short...
-Lizzie xx
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