A Slum Love Crime. (A$AP Rocky Story)

Part Sei

You know that gun I saw Rakim with? I’ve been looking for it. Not in my house, but in his pocket or somewhere around him. I’ve just been looking for signs, clues, anything that will explain this big mess.

I call it a mess because; well…I never really had many friends in school. Shandy is the only one. She might just be the only friend I’ve ever successfully made, so I wouldn’t know much about losing friends. But she always complains to me about her other friends turning out to be rotten—I have an idea of what it feels like. So now that I’m finally starting to see Rakim as a real friend, I don’t want to lose him because of his own personal problems.

I’m not trying to fix his problems just to keep our friendship; I’m trying to find out what his problem is and see if I can help him. That’s all.

“You should make it a girly dollar sign, since she’s  a girl.” Dom said to Twelvy. I was lying on a high couch in Twelvy’s basement, ready and prepared to get that dollar sign tattoo. He was just getting all his materials together while the rest of the guys watched.

“You can’t make a dollar sign girly, Dom.” Twelvy replied. Dom shrugged, as if to say, “You can’t, but anyone else can.”

I giggled at the conversation, inhaling a bit of the vague smell in the basement. The couch felt dusty under my stomach. I didn’t much like this position, but anything to do what I had to do.

“Rakim, anyone?” One of them called out.

“Yeah, I spoke to him a few minutes ago. He’ll be here soon.” Nast replied.

“I’m done.” Twelvy said. Finally. He spent about 20 minutes drawing that dollar sign, trying to make it unique and different from theirs. While their dollar signs had two lines at the top and bottom of the ‘s’, mine had a line going straight through it. I nodded my approval and then he stuck the cold paper on my back, making me shiver.

When he peeled it off, I could hear the ooh’s and ah’s from the guys.

“Does it look good?” I asked.

“Of course.”

Just as Twelvy was almost done tracing over the sign with the needle, someone busted through the door and he stopped. I turned my head to see Rakim, and tried to hide a satisfied smile. He came.

“Stop,” Rakim said, as if Twelvy hadn’t already stopped.

“For what?” He asked.

“Tremaine, come here.” Rakim ordered. I slid off of the dusty couch, coughing as dust rose in the air, and followed Rakim out of the basement, upstairs, and outside. When we got outside I sat down on the recently-dried cement ledge near the house’s gate. Rakim stood standing.

“What did I tell you?” He asked me.

“About what?” I asked.

“About this; about A$AP.”

“You told me that I could get the tattoo if I wanted, but don’t blame you if I get in trouble.” I repeated his words from the other day.

“I said that?” He asked. I nodded. “Well what I should’ve said was that you should stop trying to be a part of ASAP. It’s dangerous.”

“How is it dangerous?” I asked, getting frustrated with me. “All of them are nice to me. But it seems like these days you’re the one that’s distant.”

Rakim paused, as if he was considering the truth in my statement. “You’re right, Tremaine. It’s not dangerous. I’m the one that’s dangerous. I did something bad, Tre. I don’t want you to be involved if anything happens to me. You need to…”

He stopped when he saw the tears forming in my eyes. I couldn’t explain why I was crying, I just was. It was something I needed to let out, right here, right now.

“Tre, you need to stay away from me. Don’t take it personally. It’s not only you—everyone. The mob needs to stay away from me too. Better yet, I need to stay away from y’all. I can’t…I can’t be here anymore.”

That’s when I really started to cry. I didn’t want things to get to this. I didn’t want Rakim’s issues to get this bad, that he started to talk about going away.

“Rakim,” I managed to say between sniffles, “you can’t. Please. For me. Just stay? I need you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this attached to a person before, not even Shandy. I feel like you’re my only real friend. You can’t go.” I threw myself at him and into a hug. He wrapped his arms comfortingly around me, and for a moment I thought I could hear him sniffling too.

“I’ll try, Tremaine. I’ll try to stay as long as I can. Just for you.”

                                                                    * * *

I decided not to tell Twelvy about Rakim’s attempt to run away like I promised I would. I’d deal with this myself, the only way I could. Rakim had been avoiding me for the past few days, but I won’t leave his side until I find what I need to know.

The good thing about this? Twelvy finished my dollar sign.

“I just want to know if you’re ok.” I said to Rakim as we chilled on my steps on Sunday afternoon. I was dreading having to go to school tomorrow.

“I’m cool, Tre.” He replied. It didn’t seem so—but he was doing better than yesterday.

“You say that, but you don’t show it.”

“Fine. You want me to tell you? I’m having some issues. Old things from my past coming back to haunt me, you know?”

“Yeah. Can I help?” I offered. He contemplated it, stroking his chin.

“Tomorrow, after you come from school, meet me around the corner. By that same alley you dragged me to. I’ll show you what’s up then, okay?”

I nodded. That just made tomorrow a much better day for me.