An Unexpected Mate

Chapter 12 - Questioning the Past

Lily quietly opens the door into her house. Flipping on a light, she looks around at the persistent mess that she just cannot seem to get ahold of...or even an equilibrium on. Noticing her friend in the living room watching TV quietly, Lily moves in that direction.

"Thanks Merry for coming over on such short notice. I hope the kids weren't too wild tonight."

"Nothing I couldn't handle. The twins were a bit upset that you didn't pick them up, but I bribed them with some suckers and they were fine. I haven't cleaned up the kitchen yet."

"Don't worry about it." Lily quickly interrupts. "It's not a big deal. If you didn't notice...the house isn't exactly spotless lately." Lily waves her hand around to encompass the house in general.

"Ha. Lily, your place is just lived in, that's all. I don't see filth, just some clutter from being used."

"Thanks for that positive perspective." Thinking about the past few hours, Lily sighs. "You want to stay for a drink?"

"Sure. You want to talk about your day and whatever emergency pulled you away this afternoon?"

"Not yet...but I will eventually. I just don't really know where to begin..."

Lily looks over at her friend Merry from work. They had become a lot closer, along with Shelby, over the past few months. Her mind continues to wander to what happened after Braxton's cousin Lucas appeared in her office this afternoon. When he had told her about how the strong stranger she had briefly felt connected to months ago was now stuck in a coma-like state in their local hospital, she had felt the need to go to him. Lucas's story of mates and needing to strengthen bonds was still hard to believe, but she had to at least give closeness a try. Without really meaning to, she had found herself being driven up into the mountains onto what Lucas called "pack territory." What had looked like a few isolated houses from the main road ended up being a massive complex of houses, community buildings, workshops, company buildings, and even a hospital.

Lucas had not been sure what the rest of the community would have thought had they seen them, so Lily found herself sneaking into the hospital in order to not raise any suspicions. They had even dodged into rooms to keep from running into the nurses or doctor working. After finding the correct room, Lily had been shocked at the prone figure in the bed. Braxton still was a striking figure, not much muscle mass had been lost, but he was pale and so still. She sat at his bedside for at least an hour. The longer she sat there, the longer she held his hand and talked to him, the more she could feel the same bond from months ago start pulling her towards him again.

That had been when her life began to fall apart...was the bond what made her become more aware of her life and struggles, or were the struggles she had been facing what made her open to feeling something towards him? Was she better off now, or could she have remained oblivious and "happy"?

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Five months ago...

Lily remembered the day when everything began to crumble. She was working on getting dinner together after running the kids to their afterschool activities when Steve had finally gotten home from his latest business trip. She had found it odd that he had not come into the kitchen or even greeted the kids before running up the stairs. Lily heard the shower running and went up to check on her husband. She had had this feeling that something was not right in their family and relationship for the past year (or more), but it had gotten stronger recently. Their connection was off and there was really no intimacy, whether physical or emotional anymore. Life had gone on, but Lily had thought it might be her fault for almost cheating, for having those few moments where she had forgotten her commitment and even kissed a stranger.

With a foreboding feeling, Lily had climbed the stairs.

As the shower turned off, she quickly asked "Steve...is everything alright?"

"Lily, I can't do this right now. I thought I could, but I can't."

"I don't understand. Steve, what is going on?"

As he walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, Lily had to admit that he was still a striking figure. Even though they were both into their middle age, Steve had kept his physique in better shape. Although he did not have a six pack, his body was still that of an athletic build. Lily looked down at her slightly overweight body that still held the marks of carrying a set of twins full term and sighed...maybe she had let herself go. Maybe she wasn't really appealing anymore.

Lily was jolted back to reality when Steve blurted out, "I think we are done. I kept trying to keep us going, for the kids, for you, but I can't. I'm not attracted to you. I don't feel the same way about you as I remember from when we were younger. You spend so much time at work and with the kids, I'm like a second, no third, thought to you. I want to be appreciated and desired, needed."

"Steve! Are you really saying this?" Lily felt tears streaming down her cheeks. She was shocked, but not really. She should have seen this coming. Steve had been criticizing her a lot lately, pointing out her faults, suggesting ways to make herself better.

"Lily. This can't be a surprise to you. It's not like you couldn't have guessed that we were falling apart. We haven't been intimate in over a month. You forced me to find somewhere else to fulfill my needs."

"Wait. Are you saying you are cheating on me? That I am the reason you cheated? That I 'forced' you into a situation?"

"You have let yourself go. You really are not the same person I met and married. If you would just do more, just support me and give me what I need, then this never would have happened."

"What about what I need Steve? Are you saying I don't do anything for you, that I am slacking in some way?"

"Look around Lily. The house is a mess, you are a mess, the kids are a mess..."

"Where are you at in all this? Sleeping around on your so-called 'business' trips?"

At that minute Lily heard a loud crash from downstairs. She had forgotten about the kids, she had forgotten everything as reality crashed down around her. Steve was cheating on her, Steve was blaming her for pushing him into cheating, her marriage was crumbling.

Lily decided that, at that moment her kids really were more important and ran downstairs to check on them. As she did, she heard a mumble of "See...the kids always seem to come first. What about me? Shouldn't you be welcoming me home?"

Lily paused and tossed over her shoulder, "How about you go back to your side piece and tell her she can have all of you."

Steve had packed up most of his stuff that night, taking a bunch more later in the week. He had moved out and closer to his girlfriend. Lily had started divorce proceedings with the help of her work friends. It wasn't contested and, due to his work travel, Steve had also agreed to Lily keeping custody of the kids and him getting weekends when possible. Just like that, a marriage of 15 years had crumbled...but really, there had been signs. Lily found out that Steve had been cheating on her on and off for a couple of years. At first it had been purely physical, the excitement of doing something forbidden while traveling, but eventually emotional entanglements seemed to have followed. Slowly, it had eaten away at their relationship, while Lily's self-esteem and self-worth had tanked. In the interim months, Lily had tried to find herself again...the identity that had been lost over the years...had she met that goal? Could she meet that goal?