.Gone but never forgotten.

-Chap. 4-

(HEYO I'M MAKING JOHN TRANS BECAUSE I SAID SO AND I'M SELF PROJECTING ONTO A COMFORT CHARACTER!! That's all💕)

December 9, 2281. 12:55pm

 "Nicky, ya in here?"

 John walked into the place Nick lived and saw he had powered down, rebooting, if you will. 

John stepped closer and really looked at the synth. He looked.. Pleasant actually. He stepped closer and quietly took of Nicks fedora and he put it down on the table beside him. Then, he leaned back against the wall, waiting. 

When Nick opened his eyes, he blinked for a moment before his eyes focused on John. "Heya sunshine, awake I see?" John said, lazily smiling. Nick leaned back in his chair. 

 "Need something John?" 

 John shrugged and stepped closer, putting his hand on the synths shoulder. "What I need, you cant provide"

Nick blinked. "I'm sorry?"

 John sighed. "You're a detective, not a therapist, so you can't give me what I need right about now."

 Nick looked at John and lifted his hand to relax in the smaller males waist. "I'll still be here if you need a chat" 

John hummed and stepped away, going back to leaning against the wall. 

 "That wasn't the first time I killed someone." 

 Silence. John closed his eyes and looked away, his blonde wavy hair falling over his shoulder. "I.." He started but he trailed off. Nick looked at him then motioned for him to sit on the bed. John nodded and walked over and sat down. 

 "Start slow okay? Tell me whatever you want but it doesn't have to be everything.." Nick said calmly, as he sat comfortably beside John. 

 "First.. I'm not exactly your ordinary guy,, I'm kinda.. Different." John said, shifting so he could look at Nick. 

 "Yea, I've noticed that, but you're still you. My.. Prewar memories tell me that that would make you transgender.. And I happen to know a doc who helps with that" 

 "Amari? Yea,, I know.. I've been going to her about it for a while.. "

They both sat quietly for a moment, then John closes his eyes for a moment. "I killed an innocent person Nicky.."

"His name was Vince. He was a simple guy just trying to get by.. But, he and my brother were friends. And They would.. Talk about me at least. One day I heard them, and before even thinking about it, I killed him with my knife..

 "I'm lucky my brother even calls me John. Ever since that day he's been doing it, like he's scared of me. Ma and pa just call me 'darlin' which I guess is fine.. But sometimes I think about how I killed him. I didn't even listen to his response of reasoning before I did It. 

"It was different when I killed Mary. I know that. because she killed innocent people. But.. When I killed her I could only think about Vince. I don't fucking get it Nick.. Do you.. See me differently now..? "

Johns voice cracked at the end. His fingers gripped into the bed, his posture rigid. His breathing was heavy, but broken off to hold something back. Nicks heart broke at the sight. He had to think for a moment though. Did he see John differently?

Well, he thought John was more dangerous than he was told. But he still saw that kid that was just looking for some fun. So, no he didn't change his opinion. Not by much. Only thing that changed was that he saw how deadly John could be to save innocent people and that was.. Good.