salute [h.s]

[text] piper/the team

reposter note : chapter title was too long so i'm just going to put it down here :)

[text] let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs

a/n : Piper's in bold and the rest of the team is self-explanatory. Enjoy!

>>>>

group chat: the A team

if there's anyone who's not busy right now, could you come back to Vauxhall? to the gym? the obstacle course?

please?

louis: what's going on?

harry: are you okay petal? are you hurt?

not hurt

I'm... stuck

niall: oh jesus here we go

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!

niall: I've never met a single person who has your propensity for disaster

NAME ONE TIME

liam: that time you were supposed to be surveilling a drug runner when he was meeting up with his contact in the cartel

liam: and you got nervous and drank too much sitting at the bar and ended up spilling all the details of the bust to the man sitting next to you

liam: who ended up being the cartel leader

he had a trustworthy face! how was I supposed to know he was the head of a cartel!

zayn: pretty sure I gave you an intel folder with everyone in the cartel... that you left behind in the airport bathroom

shut up zayn

niall: oh ! that time that you busted into the wrong room in that hotel in St Petersburg and arrested that tourist instead of reznikov

louis: that was a piper classic! the poor bloke was on a family vacation wasn't he?

okay that one totally wasn't my fault, the room names looked really similar in cyrillic

i'd like to see you all try and distinguish words in russian

it is not easy

harry: um...

NOT YOU

zayn: you lot are forgetting the best one

zayn: remember that car bomb that was set to go off in westminster and piper couldn't figure out how to dismantle it so she just jumped in the front and started driving

liam: and she panicked when she got to tower bridge and just floored it right over the edge into the thames!!

niall: I remember that ! you popped out of the river looking like a drowned rat and there's this explosion going on behind you ! what a legend !

louis: a true classic

that's not even funny, I barely got out alive you fuckers!

louis: i'd forgotten that one, thanks for that zaynie

zayn: :P

shut up zayn!!

harry: let's never forget the time I found you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs

HARRY

liam: ???

louis: when did this happen!!

niall: ha ha no way give us details!

harry: ...

DON'T YOU DARE HARRY

we promised you'd never bring that up EVER

harry: sorry petal my bad

zayn: this is priceless

shut up zayn!!!

louis: we have to know this story

niall: tell us tell us tell us

never! I am taking that story TO MY GRAVE

louis: lets make a deal

louis: tell us the story and we'll come help you out

you should come help me out without the story because YOU ARE MY FRIENDS AND FRIENDS DON'T BLACKMAIL FRIENDS

zayn: out of all the friend groups in the world this one is the most likely to involve some blackmail

I HATE ALL OF YOU

harry: even me?

ESPECIALLY YOU YOU BETRAYED ME YOU BETRAYER

niall: cmon pips give us a detail . just a place or a time would do .

okay, here is the one time offer that does not apply to harry because he is A BETRAYER AND DOESN'T DESERVE IT

harry: petal

shush you

okay, whoever gets here first to help untangle me gets to ask three questions about the naked handcuff incident

AND ONLY THREE

niall:....

liam:....

zayn:....

louis:.....

harry: I'm betting they're all on their way

good, at least they're willing to help me

harry: petal I'm in the lift now I'll be there in a moment

so you just wanted to let them all kill each other trying to get details?

harry: :)

you are crafty

harry: have a earned my way out of betrayer status

for now

but watch yourself styles, you're on thin ice

harry:....

harry: oh petal how did you manage to get your foot caught in the climbing net

it's really best to just not ask questions