Gone | JJ | Outer Banks

part 19 - I can't do this

"Good job, Lainie!" I wrap her in a towel as she runs up to me after her swim lesson. "I think that was the longest you've ever floated on your back! Don't you think so, Eli?"

"Yeah! You floated really long," Eli flashes a toothy grin.

"Alright, Lainie. Why don't we get you changed and then we can get back on our bikes and head home?" I offer, slinging a beach tote bag over my shoulder. The little girl nods and leads me and her brother into the pool's locker room.

After she's changed into a dry romper, I put both kids along with the tote into the trailer hitched onto my bike. I pedal back to the Mayor's Mansion and the kids run into the house. I follow after removing the trailer from my bike and putting it in the shed.

I have fallen into a good rhythm with Lainie and Eli and it's easy to forget the real world when I'm here with them. I've even been spending more time nannying than at The Wreck because of it.

"Eli, should we have grapes or watermelon?" I ask the cute little boy who has climbed into his chair all by himself.

"Grapes! Mommy bought the green ones and the green ones are my favorite." He tells me.

"Green grapes it is," I chuckle. I wash the grapes and put them onto three different plates before adding a handful of goldfish to each one. I push the plates to each kid across the kitchen island and take a seat across them with my own.

"Thank you, Avery!" Lainie says, chomping on the goldfish.

"You're very welcome," I smile, hearing the front door click open.

Mayor Watson's heels click through the front hallway all the way into the kitchen. "Hey kiddos, what do we have here?"

She plants a kiss on top of each child's head as a greeting, ruffling their hair a little bit.

"It's snack time," Eli grins, handing her a grape.

"Thanks, bud," she pops it into her mouth, setting her purse on the counter. She turns her gaze to me. "So Avery, I know I'm back earlier than usual but I wanted to be home and make dinner with the kids tonight. I thought I could drop you back home if that's okay with you?"

"Sure! that would be great."

"Perfect, I'll go get changed and once you're all done I can take you home." She smiles before turning up the stairs.

Eli, Lainie, and I eat the rest of our snacks before Mayor Watson comes back down. She now wears a simple shirt and jeans, different from her usual formal wear.

"Ready?" She asks, helping Eli out of his chair when he nods.

We get both kids safely buckled into car seats and my bike in the trunk before we pile into the front seats. The car is fancy enough that when she turns up the radio, it only gets louder in the back seats. I give her directions to my house and she pulls out of the driveway

Once we're the road, she speaks, "How have you been doing?"

The question startles me. Not that I've been speaking to a lot of people this past week but those that I've talked to don't necessarily ask how I'm doing, they just assume. Everyone kind of speaks to me like I'm broken, which is fair all things considered. But it's demeaning honestly.

"I'm okay," I say slowly, trying to figure out the answer for myself. "I guess I'm kind of trying to return to normal. Well, a different normal, without my brother. Mostly just working at The Wreck and nannying the kids to keep bills paid. But yeah, I'm doing okay. It's not too hard to be on your own."

"You shouldn't have to be alone at your age. You're just 15? And you were kind of forced into being alone," she says, giving me a caring look but not pitiful. "I do understand that feeling of being okay with the loneliness though. I left my parent's house when I was 18 and I've been pretty self-reliant since then. And I agree, in some ways, it can be a lot easier to be on your own."