Hetalia Crack: "The Post-Apocalyptic World"

Hetalia x Child Reader #1

This one ended up being a little longer than I intended, so I split it into three chapters.

I sat on the bench and my mom was adjusting her purse, "I'll be in the store for a minute, don't go anywhere." she told me then went into the store. My eyes looked around and I saw a Metrocard on the concrete.

---

Before I knew it, I swiped the Metrocard by the driver and was sitting in a seat. "I wonder where this'll take me!" I thought to myself and giggled. After a bunch of stops I decided to get off and see what place I was in.

The doors shut behind me and the smoggy engine of the bus farted off into the distance behind me. I coughed after inhaling the smoke, "Bleghck!" I looked up and saw the city skyline. "Whoa..." My jaw dropped. I knew a little girl like me shouldn't be out in the city at night, or be alone at all, but I couldn't help but want to explore all by myself!

A flashing sign caught my eyes, "GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS" it flickered different colours every few seconds. "Wow! Maybe I can make some new friends there!" I began to run over to the building.

"How old are you?" The man asked while he was taking pictures of himself on his phone. "I'm eight." I jumped up and down. "Walk right on in, madame." He replied. "Yay!" I squealed and ran into the building. "Mon dieu, did I hear eighty or eight?" The bouncer began to panic.

There were so many people and it was really hard to see because everyone was too tall. Or maybe I was too short? "Excuse me!" I pulled the pant leg of the man who stood in front of me. Suddenly, I heard a loud "PRAP!" And it stank like hell, I almost fucking died. Everyone in the club began to cough and gag. "Fire!" Someone yelled and more people began to run out screaming due to the smell, I guess.

I looked at the stage in front of me and began to frown. "There's no girls here, they lied!" I crossed my arms and sat on the ground. "Um, pardon, young fille?" I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder and it was the same man who stood by the entrance.

"Are you sad there's no girls here either, sir?" I asked. "Non, I'm actually happy- Happy that you're safe." He smiled and and offered me his hand to take.

"Britain is going to kick me in ze Eiffel Tower when he finds out I let a child in here!" I began to sweat. "Just come wiz me fille, I'll help you find a way back home." I said with as much confidence as I could muster, but I was sweating ze river Seine right now. "Okay! I trust you." Ze child chimed.

Mommy told me to never trust strangers OR to go anywhere. But I think she's just being strict.

"Francis, you can leave early today, we lost all of our business today due to some customer's bloody fart." A blonde haired man with funny eyebrows came out adjusting his tie.

He opened his eyes and saw me with Francis. "Hi!" I smiled and waved at him. "EXPLAIN." The man stated as he began thumping his foot. "At least you gave me ze chance, you see I was taking pictures of myself-" Francis was interrupted. "I see you take your job very seriously." The man nodded. "W-well, anyways, I heard a voice. You sort of lose track wiz so many people coming in, so I didn't pay much mind to it. I made a mistake, I'm sorry." Francis touched a hand to his chest.

"Surely she said how old she was, right?" The man paused then continued, "Unless you didn't even ask how old she was." Francis replied, "I did. She said she was eight but it sounded like she said eighty."

"Fine, I suppose it makes sense, we have to find a way to get this girl home. Her parents are probably worried sick!" He exclaimed. "Now, what's your name?" The man kneeled down. "It's y/n." I said. "My name is Arthur, and I'm sure you overheard this incompetent bouncer is Francis. We'll be taking you into our hands for now." He introduced.

It seems like Francis ignored Arthur's rude remark, I wonder why. "If you don't mind telling me, what's your last name?" Arthur asked. "I don't know." I looked down at the floor. He cleared his throat, "Let me be a little more specific, the other word you write after y/n on school work and things, do you know it?"

"I'm home schooled. I only write y/n on my work." I began to tear up. "Don't cry!" The two of them said and sat on the floor to try and comfort me, I think. "We can still figure this out without knowing your name, love." Arthur reassured me as he sifted his hand through my hair.

"Your bag, y/n!" Francis exclaimed. "Huh, what about it?" I asked wiping my tears from my eyes. "It must have some identifiable information about you in it, could you show us what you have?" He requested. "Okay!" I took off my bookbag and let them open it.

I can't believe I'm thinking this again in my life, but Francis is a smart chap sometimes. Why didn't I notice this girl had a bookbag on? I thought as I sifted through its contents. Hmm, it's probably because I was too nervous, but I'm sure he's still more nervous than I am.

Me and Arthur weren't coming up wiz much luck, it was just toys and stuffed animals- Ah! I noticed a shiny heart shaped locket. Maybe it will have a photo of her mozer like in ze movies?
I opened ze locket and screamed, wizout zinking I zrew ze locket across Ze strip club.

"Mommy!" The girl exclaimed as she saw the locket go flying. "Francis, what's gotten into you? I thought you were the type to appreciate a woman's beauty! That's an innapropriate reaction." I scolded him. I stopped talking when I realized Francis was still gasping and look horrified. "Zat was no beautiful woman..." He looked into my eyes blankly. "W-what did you see?" I leaned closer to him.

"It's my mommy's crispy toe nail collection." I giggled. "It s-smelled like blue cheese..." Francis gagged. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you, I didn't know." Arthur helped recline Francis as he apologized to him. "It's fine." He waved his hand.

"Well, now what?" Arthur looked over at Francis for any ideas. "Maybe we can go to ze police station?" He shrugged. "You know how American police are, they'll throw her into a cell." He shot down the idea.

I couldn't help but feel a little guilty that Arthur and Francis were already going through so much trouble trying to help me find a way back home. "I'm sorry..." I avoided eye contact. "It's okay, things happen." Arthur said.

Arthur looked at his watch, "It's getting late, we should go to a hotel for now." Francis nodded in agreement and I repacked my bookbag. That was all after I put as many toe nail clippings back into my locket, didn't want to lose those!