mind, body, and soul | lee felix

thirty three

Christopher claps his hands together sharply.

"Excuse me," he says blandly. "I don't mean to interrupt, but I think you're missing something vital."

Jisung looks at Chris sharply, his confusion apparent.

"What are you talking about?" He asks, Jisung's tone and body language making it clear he did not want Chris to be involved. Christopher just shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets, walking over to the three of us.

"I just think that Lee should be given the chance to speak." Clapping Felix on the back, Christopher smirks and winks at me, which I decide to ignore. "It's true, I said if Felix tried to pull any hero shit, I'd kill Reese. But, there was a time, before we took Reese. Felix said he'd give up his wings. Now, that's not an option, but I want to propose something. Only if Felix is willing, of course."

Christopher looks at Felix, who simply nods, not giving anything away from his facial expression. Christopher nods thoughtfully.

"Well, I was thinking. Reese sacrificed herself for you once, right?" Felix looks at Christopher, eyes slightly narrowed. In the past moments, Felix has slowly become more alive; now, he looks more like himself then he did when he first walked in.

"Maybe you could return the favor," Christopher continues, his gaze never leaving Felix. "Your life in exchange for hers. What do you think?"

Felix tilts his head slightly, his eyes glazing over as he retreats into his thoughts. No, I think. There's no way he's considering that.

"No!" I say, stepping forward. Jisung looks at me, blinking rapidly. Ignoring him, I take another step forward, getting Christopher and Felix's attention. "He's not going to do that."

"Why not?" Felix comes to me, stopping less than a foot away. "Why can't I? Doesn't it make sense? I got you into this mess; I have to help you leave it."

Shaking my head firmly, I fold my arms over my chest. "I won't let you do it."

Felix smiles sadly, reaching out for my hand. Kissing the top of my knuckles, he murmurs, "It's not your choice this time."

He pulls away, turning his back on me and facing Christopher. My eyes widen and I can do nothing but watch as Felix straightens his stance and lifts his chin, ready to do whatever he feels is right.

"Let her go, yeah? I'll leave myself in your hands and let you kill me. Just promise that you'll let her live her life the way she deserves."

I swallow hard, clenching my fists so tightly that I begin to draw blood. I don't know what to do. Felix has always let me make my own decisions. He let me walk away from him, even when he knew what it would cost both of us. I should let him have that freedom as well.

But he'll die. I can't just stand by and let him die. Isn't there supposed to be a happy ending at the end of every love story? Felix can't die; that's not how our story is supposed to go.

I hear a strangled sound come from my left. Looking over, I see Jisung stricken, frozen in place. If I didn't know better, I would say he's got a look of horror on his face. Did he not think Chris would kill Felix? What did he think would happen?

Before I can say anything, Christopher nods, expressionless. Motioning to Emily, Christopher moves to me, holding me around the waist and forcing Felix and I to make eye contact. Emily stands behind Felix, and it almost looks like she isn't there.

It's as if it's just me and Felix. He's all I can see, all I ever want to see. My throat begins to burn and my eyes water. I try to blink them away, but I'm unsuccessful; maybe it was my body's way of telling me I don't want my last memory of Felix to be him dying.

There's a moment of silence, filled by quiet breathing. I can't take it.

"I love you."

I know it's too late, but I'll always remember the look of pure happiness on Felix's face when he heard those words.

"I love-" Felix is cut off, suddenly looking down at the blade sticking from his chest. He looks up slowly, a small smile growing on his face as he looks at me.

Felix stares at me, his eyes full of nothing but love as he crumples to the ground. I jerk forward, fighting to get to him, but Chris holds me against his chest. Jisung watches the scene with wide eyes, a hand over his mouth. I watch him as a single tear slips down my cheek.

I want to kill him. How dare he cry when he is the reason Felix is dead.

No. Jisung isn't, I tell myself. I am.