everything but nothing

if we were the only ones

     We had the same music class last year and that was the first time I saw him, it was the first year of middle school so everyone barely knew each other. But as soon as that cute brown haired freckled boy walked through the door, his eyes met mine and I finally felt this feeling I've been grossed by. It was love. I've felt the real worth of it. Who could possibly imagine a single teenager could break a soul. I don't know if he'd felt the way I did, when he walked into that music class. But the gaze he gave me that afternoon, was just a beat too long for us to stay as acquaintances. But he didn't give me butterflies, he instead gave me a heart that was unbroken. A heart that needed to be saved. And by gods choice he was my doctor. My savior. My happiness. Although this was only felt by me. There was no way he felt the same no matter how long it's been.

Throughout my first year of middle school I quickly learned that I, of course, have fallen for the popular boy that everyone in the school has has a crush on. I thought I was special, for having that feeling, but the kids in my grade would go on and talk about him almost the same as I did when I was alone. He was known for his charm, his flirtatious personality, the sports he played. Even the older kids would talk about him. There was 1 in a 500 chance that he would pick me, and he didn't.

I sometimes like to imagine that we were the only ones left, or if he magically chose me out of everyone else. I would imagine how nice that would be, you know just us. If we were the only ones, in our own world and imagination. What we would do, what we could've done. Maybe he would take the time to know me as much as I knew him. But the only thing that came true was imagining.