everything but nothing

our lives

     I lived with my dad, mom, and my two younger brothers. My dad was a teacher in our school district so a lot of people knew me. I was the first daughter, and only daughter. I had no older siblings to look up to so I had to learn everything on my own. My mom used to tell me that ever since I was 3 years old I've gone through friend issues. I remember. She didn't need to tell me. My first friend ditched me for another girl, I got bite by some rando maniac bitch who wanted the blue color dodge ball, hi sophia. And getting left out by two of my best friends in 3rd grade? Yeah I've been through trauma. Girls suck. And I really thought middle school was going to be better, really? Yeah no. My friends throughout elementary school completely ghosted me right at the start of middle school. I came home crying the first day of middle school. I hated it so much. People were bullies. Most of my teachers were assholes. Except for two, my science and history teacher. I didn't really care too much about friends, I focused on school. What I really missed was studying with my dad. I would get every answer right and whatever answer I would mess up, he would make it into a joke. It was so much fun and I got 100 on every test. Until my second year of middle school. No more fun teachers. No more studying with dad. No more anything. I had no sort of organization that year and every test I took I was unprepared. I tried to study for every single test but all the tests and quizzes were back to back. It was the worst year ever. The only motivation I had was my english class, and not because I liked it, because he was in it.

I lived with my dad and mom. I have an older sister but she's in college somewhere. My dad is battling cancer. He works in the school district so I know a lot of older kids. My life was pretty uneventful but the day my dad had chemotherapy I shaved my head for him. I hated it but I loved my dad. I would hide my hair every day and always would wear hats. My friends shaved their hair too, which made me feel less embarrassed. I keep my thoughts to myself and sometimes it's hard but I don't really like to express them anyway. I know my friends wouldn't listen to my problems. School wise, I was okay. I wasn't the best student but what can I say, all teachers favor the good looking guys at school so I had an easy pass. Sometimes I would try, but most times I just took wild guesses. But under all my charm was some smart kid so I would easily pass tests. The next year, I had to say, was pretty difficult. Teachers gave so much work I couldn't focus on anything. This one class particular was hard, my english class. My teacher would call on me for everything, me and my friend both. She liked us, a lot. I was in the front, first seat of the third row. She was also in my class, third back in the forth row. She was so smart but she was never called on. When our english teacher would call on us, she would tap her foot because she was nervous. I did that too. Since she was sorta behind me I couldn't look at her as much as I did last year in music class. Sometimes I would do this look behind me stare but it couldn't be for too long. I wish we could have been next to each other, so I wouldn't have to lean behind me to look at her pretty face.