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"Get your faggot ass up and go look for a fuckin job" I was woken up by my birthgiver tonya and looked around in a sleepy daze.
"Hoe I know you heard me calling your ass" she said but before I could respond, she decided to slap me and out of reflex I slapped her back. I would never hit my "mother" out of respect especially since she was nine months pregnant with a baby that she had no clue who the father was or what the gender of the baby was because she spent all her money on crack only paying the rent and sometimes the water bill and enough to fill her stomach feeding them both, but all that respect has left me after years and years of abuse. I started getting verbally and mentally abused at 5, then I would receive beatings for any little thing I thought about and said, or even attempted to do, I had lost respect for someone who would do anything for their next fix.
"Tonya I'm pretty sure you have crack to snort some where, please leave me alone and find something better to do with yourself and your pregnant, this is pathetic, go away." With those very words she spit at my feet walked out and i started to get ready. I couldn't for the life me understand why my own mother the one who gave birth to me could hate me so much, I couldn't understand why she wanted to snort crack or why she had given me to those men when I was nine years old.
~FLASHBACK~Omniscient
Grabbing his teddy bear he walked into the kitchen to look for a snack, they really didn't have food because his mother Tonya would always say she had better things to do than feed him. Little Se'Nari dropped his teddy bear and bent down to grab it, then he felt hands touching all over him and a hand put over his mouth. Se'Nari being him at nine years old, he tried to kick and scream but It wasn't working so he had just given up and resulted to breathing heavy with tears streaming down his face, A cloth with a chemical was then placed over his face causing him to pass out and the last thing he heard was "Do what you want with the nasty bitch have fun."She said.
Se'Nari awoke five hours later to bruises coating his body with blood everywhere on his legs and ripped clothing.
~Flashbackover~ I wiped the tears from my eyes because there was no point in crying, I was seventeen now, turning eighteen in a couple months, after I wiped my tears and took a deep breath, I walked to the closet to find something to wear for an interview at Bath&Body Works.
I found me a cute simple outfit consisting of a tight spandex fitted long sleeve shirt, black jeggings, my worn out white converse, and a black cardigan.
I put my outfit on the bed and walked to the bathroom in my room, I took off my clothing, then stepped into the shower turning the cold water on since that was all we had and could afford. I washed my body with sensitive baby dove soap and scrubbed my body hoping to get that dirty feeling of those men that touched on me for almost 7 years but instead I always felt dirty, after scrubbing my body for forty five minutes I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist.
I walked to the sink then grabbed my tooth brush and toothpaste, then I turned on the water brushing my teeth for three minutes. I walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bed putting on deodorant then I lotioned my body with coco butter. I got dressed and walked downstairs and out the door without saying a word.
I walked all the way to the bus stop three streets over and waited for the bus to come pick me up.
I waited for atleast fifteen minutes at the stop before the bus came and picked me up. I was dropped off half way and walked the rest of the way to the mall, once I was there I waited and checked the time on my cracked iPhone seven plus. I walked to bath and body works and entered the store, I asked for a manager and they led me to the back for my interview.
~𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠~ I walked out of the store and proceeded to walk the way home because I had used all my money to catch the bus half way here, I needed the rest of my money which was seven dollars to get food for myself.
They told me they would call me in three weeks which let me know that they were not going to hire me which is understandable because even though I graduated at the top of my class at sixteen, I was still a dingy looking intersex black male. I had gotten rejected from every job interview I applied to because I was either not dressed up to par like other people or I was just a dirty bummy black boy who just so happened to have intelligence. I didn't know what to do because I had to put food in my stomach, buy new clothes and Tonya told me I owed her money because she birthed me and I was sucking up her air, it was either I gave her the money or I would be with out a place to stay.
I arrived at home and opened the door to hear screams and cries. I looked around and seen Tonya on the floor naked with blood everywhere all over the walls while a naked baby laid across from her a few feet away while she snorted crack instead of tending to a new born baby that could have something wrong with it.
"Get this fucking baby and make it shut up, I'm doing something over here" Tonya said. I ran upstairs and grabbed my thin blanket that I washed yesterday then ran back downstairs and grabbed the baby wrapping the baby in the blanket.
I walked up stairs with the baby while i quieted the baby down, and from the looks of it the baby was a girl, I walked into my bathroom and unwrapped the baby from the blanket. I placed the baby in the tub in the bathroom and grabbed a soft rag wetting it and putting my dove soap on the baby. I gently washed the baby then I grabbed a towel and wrapped the baby inside it. Its honestly a miracle that this baby is alive considering all the things the birth giver has done while pregnant.
I walked down stairs with the baby and out the house. I walked to the only place I know could help me was the hood nurse otherwise known as Nene. Nene did anything you name it she did it, Nene was a nurse but she quit because she couldn't deal with the white people, I had heard about Nene when I was still in high school, so I knew exactly where to go for help.
I finished walking after about 5 minutes and knocked on this blue door, everyone said to look for if you needed her, Nene was the only one with a blue door around here. A girl opened the door and I sure that it's Nene.
"Can I help you?" The girl said with a slight attitude
"Y-Yea uh my mother is a crackhead and she just gave birth in the middle of the floor and I don't know if the baby is okay or has any infections." I said
"Imma need at least one-fifty for this, you got that or no? Because if not you gonna have to leave my doorstep before you get removed" she said
"Look im sorry for bothering you but I don't have that, I'm broke, can you just please help me, I don't want the baby to die please" I said. The girl who I'm sure by now is nene rolled her eyes and let me into the house and led me downstairs to the basement which was set up like a above average hospital room.
•~ 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝~•
Nene handed me the baby in a new blanket and handed me a baby bottle with a 36 ounce container of powered milk, a baby bag with everything I would need for the baby.
"The baby is fine, it's definitely a girl, and who ever bathed her saved her because she would have had an infection around the vaginal area and carpet burn, I also added the stuff from when I had my son and left over things inside the duffle bag, I feel bad so I put my number in your phone and if you need anything or in trouble text the troubled heart and I will send someone to come to get you or help you."
I nodded my head and said thank you for all your help.
" yea yea whateva, I'm only helping because of that baby, speaking of the baby what do you want to name her, because I can have someone go into the the database and put her on file" Nene said.
I thought about every name possible in the book to name the baby but only one that I could think of stood out to me the most.
