Make Me Believe

Fiery Pain

"What do you mean he's dead?"

"I mean he's dead. That's all there is to it." I said.

Elizabeth had been asking me the same question since I had gotten back, and it was starting to get really annoying.

I don't know how she didn't understand that I didn't want to talk about it. I had just lost my boyfriend!

And it hurt. It really did. I loved him, and I lost him.

Kind of how it was with Derek. I let myself get attached to him and I lost him.

I can't believe I lost the two people that were close to me...

"Jaileigh, are you okay?" Elizabeth's frantic voice broke through my thoughts, bringing me back to reality.

"What?" I asked.

I snapped my head in her direction and realized that my vision was blurry.

I didn't realize I was crying.

I brought both hands up to my face and wiped the tears away.

"I'm fine..." I mumbled.

"Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not sure. I lost Brandon. Lizzy, I watched him shoot himself." I yelled practically.

"I watched him kill himself..." I whispered, the tears starting to fall again.

"I lost him..." I was full on crying now, head in my hands, leaning forward on my knees, my fingers fisting into my hair.

"it's okay." She said softly, coming to sit by me.

"No, it's not okay. I've lost everyone."

"You still have Autumn and me."

"Yea... but it still hurts... really bad."

"I know. I know. And I'm sorry but I don't really know what to do to help make this better."

"I don't know what to do either." I whispered.

"Do you want me to send Autumn in?"

"I-I don't know... Lizzy what am I going to tell her? That her real father doesn't want anything to do with me? The person she wants to be with? Or that Brandon's dead? I don't know what to do."

"I'll leave you alone for a while." She said, and then stood up and made her way to my door.

She walked out, and I felt the atmosphere practically change from slightly cheery to completely depressing.

I lay down on my bed and curled up into a tight ball.

I wanted Brandon...

I needed Brandon.

I was nothing without him.

I felt nothing without him.

He was my everything.

I had no reason to live anymore.

Brandon was gone and Derek didn't want me...

Why was everyone that is important to me dying or leaving me?

Is there something wrong with me?

£

I brushed my fingers along the dusty desk top. I sat in the library with a book opened to the first page, but hone of the words had been read yet.

My mind was busy with other things. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that everyone I love never stays.

Sighing, I closed the book and set it down on the table. I hadn't even told Autumn yet. She had asked where Brandon was, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her he was gone.

I wasn't even okay with it. I never would be. I wanted him back so much.

How would Autumn take it? Would she hate me? Probably... She'd hate me for not trying to save him better.

I should have known that he'd do that. I shouldn't have kept a hold of that gun. I didn't even have any use for it.

It's my fault he's gone.

All my fault...

Even if Autumn could forgive me, could I ever forgive myself?

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Hey guys! So sorry it's short! But it's another update! Yay! 😝

How's she gonna tell Autumn? And she blames herself? Is it her fault?

Comment your answers and vote for this update, even though it's short 😔

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Thanks for reading guys!
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