A Court Of Moonlight And Shadows (An Azriel/ACOTAR Fanfiction)

Chapter 19

It was almost midnight and Azriel was flipping through some papers, expecting Arcane to be already asleep because the smoke and smell of burning wood had stopped from her room, when someone knocked urgently on his door.

Alarmed, he quickly put on his shirt and threw open the door. Cassian was panting and trying to catch his breath while trying to say something.

"What happened?" Azriel caught his arm. "Is Nyx-" he feared the worst but Cassian shook his head.

He pointed down the corridor. "Arcane."

Leaving Cassian leaning against his door, he dashed towards her bedroom. It was on the lower floor and he found Rhysand standing outside. Inside, Feyre was holding Arcane's hand and Morrigan was rubbing her back as she thrashed about in pain. Completely covered in sweat, she soaked the sheets and silently sobbed into the crook of her own elbow. His heart leaped to his throat and suddenly the room had too little air.

Kneeling by her side, he frantically asked Feyre. "What happened to her?"

"We don't know." Feyre said softly. "Majda said it's because of her new eating habits. I don't know what eating habits she could be talking about."

As soon as she was done, Arcane reached towards the edge of the bed and vomited into a pot sitting on the floor. Her body caved into itself once again as the pain hit once more. He wasn't too sure she could see or hear him through it.

"So Majda came and left before you bothered to tell me?" Azriel glared at all of them.

Mor interjected, "It wasn't so bad at first. It was only mild pain and then we thought she might have started her cycle."

He took deep breaths and nodded slowly. As soon as he touched her stomach, he felt the bones of her rib cage under his fingers. He almost winced at that and Feyre said, "We'll leave you alone."

"Did you tell her father?" Azriel asked and they shook their heads.

"He's sleeping because of his medicines, it wouldn't do any good to wake him up." Rhysand responded.

Azriel said, "Right. Thank you."

Feyre squeezed his shoulder before they all left and closed the door behind themselves.

Azriel brushed Arcane's hair back from her face and she opened her eyes to slits. A whimper escaped her lips as soon as their eyes met and Azriel cupped her face. Kissing her forehead, he whispered, "It's okay. I'm here. I will always be."

She slowly reached for his hand by the side of her face and pressed it to her mouth, her tears soaking his scars.

She had curled up on her side, knees digging into her stomach and Azriel had to carefully unfold her body and wrap his arms around her middle. She quickly rested her head in the crook of his neck.

He rubbed small circles on her back for a while before she croaked out, "I really tried, Azriel. I can't do this."

"Of course, you can." Azriel ran his hand through her hair. "Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but we have an eternity."  His heart twisted mercilessly inside his chest.

"I don't know." She said tiredly. "It hurts. It's just food. Everyone eats it so why can't I?" The tone of utter defeat in her usually upbeat voice was enough to bring him on the verge of tears.

"It will get easier." He promised. Kissing her shoulder, he shifted her backwards and laid by her side. Their bodies moulded together and his shadows shifted completely to her side. Apparently, they thought she was in some kind of danger that they could protect her from. Shrouded in dark, she looked at him with red, tear-filled eyes. Another flash of pain zapped through her body and she choked on a sob. Burying her head in his chest, she clasped a hand over her mouth. He bought her fragile frame closer as she shuddered and tears stung his eyes at the sensation.

But she couldn't live like that. She needed to get better and to move forward. The more she starved herself, the harder it would be to recover.
Azriel softly whispered soothing words into her ear and she tried to breath normally.

Eventually, Majda's medicine kicked in and she started drifting in and out of sleep. Azriel stayed wide awake just in case she again felt the pain. Collecting a fistful of his shirt, she closed her eyes and her breaths grew deeper. Azriel kissed her eyes that were ringed red and she feverishly mumbled an 'I love you.". He smiled faintly at that and, pecking her now swollen red lips, turned onto his back so Arcane's head rested on his chest, right above where his heart was.

The cool wind blew in through her window and slowly the sweat from Arcane's body dried. She still woke up every few minutes and Azriel had to hold her still so she didn't again start the pain. This went on for the entire night as he quietly hummed a song and watched his mate sleep, hoping that the song would help.

The sun wasn't even visible through the window when footsteps sounded downstairs. If he had his shadows, he could check who was up but they were being stubborn this morning and not leaving Arcane's side. If anything, they wove tighter around her and he gave up.

A gust of wind passed through the room and before he could process what was happening, a window slammed shut from the force of the wind. Arcane flinched so hard, she was out of his grasp in a second and frantically looking around.

"Hey." Azriel touched her shoulder. "It's me." He gently cupped her face and she looked at him like she was trying to figure out who he was. Slowly, she relaxed and rested her forehead against his shoulder.

When she didn't say anything, he asked, "Are you still in pain?"

She shook her head but he knew she wasn't completely present. He pulled her into his lap, "It's okay. Everything is fine."

Resting her cheek on his shoulder, she sighed, "I'm so very tired." Her voice would have gone unheard by someone else because it was so weak but Azriel had no difficulty in picking up her words.

"Lay down for a moment. I will bring you something to drink or eat."

She closed her eyes, her breath hot on his neck, and let her arms hang by her side. "Water." She pushed out. "And sleep."

"Of course." He settled her down on the bed and just as he was about to get up, she held onto his sleeve. Her eyes barely open, she shook her head microscopically.

Her sleeve still between her fingers, Azriel poured her a cup of water and lifted her head. She gulped that down and her frown softened a little. After that, he again climbed into the bed, ready to stay by his mate's side for the entire day.