Authors Note: This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. It upset me sooo much.
You and Niall have been married for 3 years now you had 3 Children a 4 year old girl called Alesha-May Horan and 1 year old twins called Liam & Jade Horan, he was the best husband and father anybody could ever ask for. He was there for you all when you needed him, he made you feel like a princess, If you were sick, he would look after you. If you were sad, he would help you to smile again. Everything, he would do everything for you. Sadly, 3 months ago, Niall had been diagnosed with a vicious kind of Cancer, now it was your turn to return his love for you.
He has been in and out of hospital now for the past month, he is getting worse. You know it won’t be long until you have to say your goodbyes to him, you don’t want too, but you have too. You try your hardest to be strong for him and your 3 chidren, but when you are alone it all gets too much and you cry to yourself. Niall is the love of your life, you’d planned to be with each other forever, you can’t imgaine losing him, but recently you’ve had to think of it, you’ve had to make plans, you’ve had to take him back and forth the hospital when he needed to go, you had to be his rock.
Niall is scared of dying, he has never told you though, you go to the hospital, he is asleep, when you take a seat down next to him. He slowly wakes up “How’s my princess today?” he says, in a voice so quiet you hardly hear him. “I’m good Nialler, How are you?” realizing how stupid you were to ask this question “I’m sorry that was a stupid question to ask” “It’s okay babe, I’m alright thank you for asking” he says, giving you half a smile. You can see how weak he is getting and it kills you inside. “Can I tell you something?” he asks, looking at you. “Anything babe” you say, kissing him on the cheek. “I’ve been lying to you, I’m scared of dying, I don’t want to leave you, leave our children, I don’t want you to have to wake up every morning, missing me when I could be there with you, I don’t want you to have to tell our children that thier dad has passed away, I want to hold you forever longer, I want to wake up with you, we should be enjoying our life together. I don’t want to die.
"Please stay with me, tonight?” he says tears are now in his eyes and you’re crying too. “I’ll stay with you babe, I love you so much and It breaks my heart knowing that tomorrow you might not be here, the worst part is not knowing when this disease will take you, take you away from me, take the only person I’ve ever loved” “I love you more princess, remember me, remember all the time that we shared, remember our first kiss, first date, our first time in the bedroom, remember the first time I held our children, remember the old me, the strong, care-free one, not this one, the weak one, remember when we first met, remember our wedding, remember my love for you will die with me?” ”Niall, I will always remember you, no matter happens in the future, you’re the one who helped me realize what love is and I’ll hold too that, hold onto your memory, hold onto everything, you’re the reason for everything good that has ever happened to me” you say, leaning down to kiss his lips.
Just then his mother maura walks into the room, she hasn’t seen him for 1 week so you leave the room, going to grab you and her some coffee. When you’ve got your coffees you go back to the room, room 369. You, maura and himself all there for the next few hours talking about all the memories that you have shared, some make you laugh and others make you cry, but knowing all these memories where with Niall, you didn’t care. He looked up and you and smiled “I love you” “I love you too babe” you notice that his breathing is getting slower and slower, maura notices also, deep inside you know tonight he will gone, but you don’t even want to think of that.
You both grab a hand of his, he turns to face you both “You two are the best women in my life, I’ve been blessed that I have you both, so happy that I was loved by a Queen and a Princess promise me something? please promise to take care of each other, look after the boys and the children? and remember I love you bot-” he says before his machine starts to beep. “I promise” you and his mum both say in unison.
You feel like you’ve just been stabbed in the heart, maura rushes to you on the other side of his bed as you both break down into tears. Is he really gone? you think to yourself. Niall? The boy you fell in love with, the man that you had married, your soul mate, husband and bestfriend. You don’t believe it, you look to his mum “It’s not real, we’re in a dream, this can’t be real, no.” you say to her knowing very well it is real, you just try your hardest to convince yourself otherwise. She puts her hands on your shoulder “Sorry” she says as you both break down again.
How are you going to tell your children? How are you going to tell Zayn, Liam, Louis and Harry that there bandmate has just died. You try to hold back your tears as you call Liam, who has your children you ask him to bring them to the hospital, you then call around the other boys and ask them if they can get to the hospital. Within the next 20 minutes all of the boys have arrived, along with Alesha, Liam & Jade. They get taken to the family room were you and Nialls mum are waiting, they all come in and they sit down.
They look at you and notice the tears “Has he? - I mean” is all Zayn can get out before the tears start pouring down his cheeks, Zayn has always been the closest one to Niall, Niall trusted him so much with everything and Zayn took it upon himself to protect Niall for however long he had too “But, he was fine not long ago, this is too soon” Liam adds, Louis is sat there trying to be strong but it ain’t long before he starts to cry. You can’t take it anymore and you fall to the floor. “Y/N Can we… go and see him?” Harry asks, you nod and you all go into the room.
One by one the boys walk over to him and speak to him, believing that he can hear.
“You were one of the best people I have ever met, a true brother to me, no-one can ever replace you, man, this is hard for me to understand, I know you probably can’t hear me, but I just had these things to say to you, you were the man, a good dad, a good husband, son, brother, uncle, dude you were just, sorry I can’t, I just-” Louis says, he doesn’t get to finish when he runs towards harry, who is waiting to hug him, they both start to cry.
Liam goes next “This is hard to take in, just 4 months ago, you were healthy, and now you’re, I don’t even want to say it, it don’t seem real and it never will, love you always brother, forever. Sleep well up there and show them the true angel that you truly were” he says, breaking and falling onto the floor, you run to his side and hug him tightly.
Then it is Harrys turn “Dude, just wake up, it’s not even funny, we need you here, with us, how can we go on without our main man, it won’t feel right, I love you brother” he says, going to back to Louis. Liam gets up and goes to Nialls mum who hugs him and they move over to the other side of the room along with Louis and Harry.
Lastly it is Zayn’s turn and you stay by his side, you reach out for his hand and he walks up closer to Niall. “You’re so cold man, you were my best friend, you & me, ziall forever, that was how it was meant to be, blood brothers, you were my closest friend, who can I protect now, who can I laugh and cry with, who can I go to when I’m down, man, I can’t even begin to say how much I am hurting” he says then tears start to form, you grip his hand tighter, reassuring him that you won’t let go. “I need you, Y/N needs you, we want you back, how can we go on? It’s impossible, I don’t even want to try, you meant the world to me and now what. I feel so numb, Please come back, please, help me understand, this makes no fucking sense, how could he take you, just ho-” he can’t finish his speech, hearing what Zayn had said broke your heart. You didn’t even want to stay in the room, but you did, you stayed there and comforted each other.
Nialls mum had offered to tell your children, you couldn’t face it, seeing there little faces crumble, would break you again. Everyone had left but you and Zayn stayed for the night, hoping and praying that a miracle would come your way, hoping that this was one really bad dream, but it wasn’t and Niall never woke up. You and Zayn left at 4:00am, you went back to your house and you didn’t sleep atall. You didn’t want too, all you wanted was for Niall to hug you, kiss you, touch you & love you…How could he be gone? How? How? You ask yourself over and over again..
