BURDENS

growing up

I couldn't help but be thankful that the first thing I remembered wasn't being born but instead was held in the doctor's arms at the hospital. The doctor who I knew as my future dad, Grayson Gilbert was smiling down upon me and despite my deep hatred for the man I couldn't help but relax in his arms. It had been a very long time since I had been held, or shown any physical affection in a very long time. To put it shortly I was touch starved. 

"Would you like to hold her?" I felt the vibration from the doctor's chest as he spoke and I felt my eyelids grow heavy.

"No no keep her away from me!" The women who gave birth to me hisses, I watched as Grayson's face contorted into a look of sadness before he moved. I didn't mind the woman's words, in my past life my mother had said much worse things. The only difference was unlike Elena, I had to live with mine for eighteen years.  Before Grayson could lay me down amongst the other babies I had allowed Sleep to take over. One thing I knew I was gonna hate about being a baby while it lasted, their little bodies needed constant sleep. 

~

When I had apoke I was being placed in the arms of a woman I knew as Grayson's wife, my new mom,  Miranda. Her arms were comforting and I found myself never wanting to leave them, especially when she looked down at me and had tears of joy falling from her eyes. 

"Hello my little angel, I'm your mommy" she whispered and at her words I smiled softly and her mouth parted into an O as she placed a thumb on my pace. She had caressed my face and I once again felt my eyelids growing heavier. I wanted to curse my past self for keeping this away from me for three months, who knew being a baby would be so calm and relaxing. She moved and I watched the roof as she walked throughout the house, falling asleep before we could reach our destination. 

~

Six glorious months of me doing nothing but sleeping, eating, cuddling, and having my diaper changed which was humiliating, had come and I had been trying to teach my small baby body to crawl. So far I was really good at getting on my hands and knees, it was the moving them part that was giving me trouble. I knew what I wanted to do, it wasn't hard, but my small baby mind couldn't comprehend what putting one hand in front of the other ment. But here I was laying on my blanket surrounded by my stuffed animals.  Grayson was gone and my mom was currently reading a book while she watched me, so now was as good as ever time to practice. 

With chunky baby arms I moved my body up, I placed myself on par with my knees and slowly and carefully I moved my right hand and knee in front of me. Then my left and I swore I could have cried tears of joy right then and there, I crawled my way out of the living room and into the kitchen before I felt arms around my sides and I was picked up. I was turned around and placed face to face with a very happy Miranda. 

"Oh! My little angel can crawl!" She cheered and I sneezed at her which only made her smile bigger. She spun me around and kissed my forehead before placing me down on my blanket and sitting back in her chair. Not having the energy to crawl I grabbed my alligator stuffie that I had since named Loki and slowly but surely fell asleep.

~

I was nine months old and I had mastered the art of speaking with very few words, such as 'nigh, foo, mama' which as far as I was concerned were the only words I needed. But Grayson thought otherwise, which is why he was currently sitting in front of me trying to make me say 'da da'  which I refused too.

"Common little angel say 'da da" 

"Mama" 

Once again Grayson threw his head back in defeat and a deep sigh as this was my fifth time saying mama instead of da da. His phone rang and he answered it, his eyes turned hard as he placed me on my blanket with my toys and walked away. A series of curses leaving his mouth as my mom walked in. A small smile appeared on my lips as I got an amazingly evil idea. My mom bent down, approaching me as I giggled.