BURDENS

Taking it back

I always knew I was damaged, never kill the family dog kinda damage but I was not a normal child. Normal kids don’t fantasize about caving in their douchebag uncles heads. I was in middle school when I had my first kill, walking home with a lower classman, Katie, who lived next door to me we took the same way we always did. I walked on the side closest to the road keeping the kid away from the cars, Katie hung onto my arm telling me all about her day.  We were two streets away from ours, she was just getting ready to tell me how tryouts for soccer went. Before I knew it we were yanked into the last ally we had to pass. Katie was separated from me instantly and I could hear her screams, I was slammed against a wall, a dirty hand pressed against my mouth. 

My mind went blank for a second, just a brief second, and when Katie yelped after the sound of skin hitting skin I snapped back. I pulled my pocket knife out of my pocket, flipping it open. I didn't hesitate to plunge it into the man's neck. Blood splattered across my face, I raised my leg and kicked him off. The other guy who held Katie turned his head at the sound, eyes widened as he saw his friend shaking on the ground, blood spewing out of his neck. Katie cried, eyes wide with panic. The man backed away from her, and Katie ran towards me. She dove into my arms hugging me. 

I tilted my head at the man who glanced back from me to his friend, before he turned and ran away like a coward. I led Katie away from the scene, when we reached our street both our parents were in the yard, a single cop car in front of my house. When we didn’t come home on time our moms panicked. Rightfully so, we were taken down town, the body was found and within a week everything had returned to normal. I had gotten off with self defense. 

After that night I had a taste for it, killing someone, especially someone who deserved it felt good. It felt right. It took me years to develop a method for killing, I was barely twenty three when I had selected my victim, the place, and how it would be done. 

Standing over Max as he laid unconscious and strapped to the metal table brought back the same feeling I had when I was twenty three, glee. People always say you never forget your first, which is true. But you also never forget when you perfect it. If you ask me, perfecting it is the best feeling, far better than a first.

In this new body, in this new life, Max was both my first and my perfection, it was a new feeling all together. Enzo sat on the stares, he watched me closely, it took a lot to convince him to let me kill Max, that his method would be too fast, it would be merciful. We compromised with him watching me while I worked. I had an audience, I could not disappoint.  I had laid out Max’s surgical tools on the tray. Set the light down so it pointed directly in his face, Enzo had even been kind enough to show me where Max kept his stereo, I let him choose the station, in the end he picked classical. 

Max had woken up not too long ago, his screams of confusion gave me goosebumps, the good kind of course. I had grabbed the longest scalpel off the tray, lightly trailing it down his face, he whimpered, trying to push himself as far away from me as possible. But there was no use, the restraints that held him were on tight, so tight I noticed his fingers turning purple. 

“Shh shh” I hushed him, he had tears falling down his face and under the rag that gagged him he was begging for mercy. They always begged. I could feel Enzo's eyes burning into me, I won’t lie. I liked being watched. I used my other hand to wipe away Maxs tears, he had reduced himself to small whimpers by this point. I removed the gag and he took deep breaths, his eyes darting everywhere in the room. 

“Ple please don’t do this” He begged, I stood up straight tilting my head before turning to Enzo. Max followed my gaze, the sight of the vampire making him hit his head back on the table. A string of oh gods leaving his throat.

“Enzo darling, did you ever beg?” Enzo’s eyes didn’t leave me as he nodded, I smiled before turning back to Max who was crying harder and what I could only assume was begging god for his life. “And what did he say?”