"I will ruin you baby," he whispers digging his nails into my hips sending a chill cascading down my spine.
"Then ruin me Jude, ruin me till there's nothing left of me." I spoke softly, "make me feel something, make me feel anything, make me feel al...
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I'd give anything for Annie to forgive me and for me to me whole once more.
I know what it's like to be surrounded by people and still be lonely.
A traditional healer back home in Lusaka once told my mother that her firstborn daughter would be a force to be reckoned with and that she would never be alone. My mother, Kondwani, took that to mean that I would be everything she wasn't, I would grow up to be a prima ballerina adored by many dancing my way across every stage in Europe.
I would never marry young and have my husband leave me halfway across the world like her. I would have the kind of personality that simply attracts people towards me, makes them cling on until they never want to let me go; indeed I would never truly be alone.
physically, I never knew isolation but mentally I was all on my own.
My mother always preferred Anastasia over me, perhaps it was because I reminded far too much of my father, she always said I had his eyes, I told lies as good as he did too but she'd never know that.
When my father left I think a part of mummy left with him, the part that knew how to love right seemed to fade away. I know she loved me and I know she gave me everything she could but I hate to admit that even that wasn't enough.
