Roommate From Hell

Chapter One

             "Misery Loves company
                        Just not you"

         
         
        It was a nice peaceful day in the year, around August. The start of many school years. Elementary schools, middle schools, high school, and College. 
   One college specifically, Natural Unification Teaching. Or NUT for short. Most of the people who went to this school were oddballs, misfits, and those who just wanted to make friends because the school's entire goal was to… well… let people unite via natural means. As the name would suggest.

       In a van approaching the school were two men, brothers. Jacob and Esau, or as they liked to call each other, Bitch and Side-bitch. They had never gotten along, and they technically weren't even brothers. They were adopted, both at the same time by the same person. Though their caretakers were long dead, it's not like they had any other options but to look after one another.

     In the back of the van, the inside banged and clanked with boxes was the red skinned brother, Esau (aka Side-bitch), and in the driver's seat was Jacob (Aka, bitch)? Esau made a loud groaning noise that could be heard even over the noisy sounds of the rowdy items and the blasting radio. Then they spoke, "Jacob you motherfucker, let me sit in the passenger's seat!" An apathetic and honestly tired looking white male just stared forward at the road. Their eyelids drooped with lack of sleep combined with exhaustion. Even the loud music that shook the van didn't seem to phase them, they let out a long sigh before saying "No, Easu, for the last time you cannot sit in the front. I was the one who packed all the stuff in the van while you went off and fucked a random girl or some shit." 
    Esau groaned in annoyance as he said "you a bitch you know that?" Jacob nodded before he said "Yes esau you've told me this several times along the way here. Speaking of which." The care came to a sudden standstill, causing Esau's face to slam into a box "Ow! Jacob you motherfucker! Could've given me some warning!" Jacob let a small smile creep across his face before he said "Heh, not my fault there's no seatbelts back there. Anyways, we're here, prepare to move some shit because you're helping this time." Esau let out a small laugh before he said "why should I?" Jacob simply looked over the shoulder rove this seat before saying "because then I'll leave your stuff behind, I specifically labeled which boxes are ours for this exact reason. Now get your ass moving." Esau crossed his arms and sighed before he said "fine DAD."

      Jacob turned the key to the car and shut the engine off. He pocketed the key in his black khaki pants before dusting off his shirt and patting his hair. He opened the car door and stretched a good bit "Ah, finally, some fresh air. Now" he closed the car door "to get unloading, hey esau! You start unloading things, I'll get our room key!" Jacob said before he rubbed his eyes and walked off. All he could hear as he walked away was a this and then a groan of pain "ow fuck… fine! Stupid bitch…" 
 Esau stood up from the concrete ground before arching and pulling at his muscles. He was sore all over from sitting and sleeping in an uncomfortable position. They had driven 18 hours to this place, in the middle of California. Where, funnily enough, where all their childhood classmates ended up going. Esau tugged at his baggy Jeans and sighed before he said "god damn it jacob… fucking nerd, god damn piece of shit." He grumbled and muttered to himself as he began lifting and setting down the heavy boxes from the van. They had a good 50/50 split of trinkets and doo-dads between the two, because if one had more than the other the other got salty and complained. Which leads them to their happy medium. Esau was stronger than Jacob but he had always been the more casual and freestyle of the two, often earning money through rap battles and underground fighting rings. While Jacob, well he worked an actual job.
                  Both of them had taken out loans for their student tuition, well at least Esau did. Jacob wouldn't tell him if he had taken out a loan or yet but given Jacob worked double jobs, both of them not eating that much, he assumed he'd taken out a loan. Esau sighed as he moved out mostly all the boxes now and he heard footsteps approaching him "Took ya long enough!" Low and behold as Esau spoke those words and turned around Jacob was standing there with crossed arms "This place is hard to navigate okay? Now get a box and I'll show you the way." Jacob put the key in his other pocket that didn't hold the car keys, that way he wouldn't get them mixed up. He walked next to Esau who was hefting two boxes and picked up a box of his own "You're gonna fall like that." Esau simply smirked at Jacob's words and said "Heh like hell I will." Jacob shrugged and said "Suit yourself" before he began talking off.

       It was bright and early in the afternoon. Kids wandered down the halls of the place, most of them Jacob recognized as did Esau, but they decided not to engage. Esau shot a winks to people every now and again but that was just how he was. Jacob hummed a song in his head as he approached the dormitory and looked along the walls for theirs. Esau was staring off to the side while walking lopsided. Then bumped into jacob when he stopped, which jacob gingerly ignored "Here it is, dorm C-17." Leaned down and set his box on the floor to which Esau kicked his left leg and made him fall forward on the box "Agh, you asshole." Esau laughed in response before Jacob stood up and rubbed his chest. He pulled out the dorm key and unlocked it as he pushed the door open "Ladies first" esau rolled his eyes as he walked in and set down the boxes next to the door as jacob retrieved his set it on top of the others. Esau stared around the room and smiled, "Heh, pretty good." Jacob nodded before he said "At least we can agree on that."
 

       After an hour or two of moving shit in the two settled down in their dorm and took a moment to drink in the details. There were two rooms parallel to each other, bedrooms. A kitchen to the right of the door, a bathroom between the two bedrooms, and they were currently standing in the living room which had a tan leather couch, a glass coffee table, and a TV along with two desks parallel in the left and right corners of the room to the left of the couch which had a window separating them. Esau jumped over the back of the couch and landed on the cushions laying down as he put his hands behind his head "ah feels like home already! I call dibs on the right bedroom!" Jacob chuckled a bit "hey, okay. Guess I'll get the right one. Remember to set your alarm, we have class tomorrow. Today was purely for moving in. Now I'm going to get some sleep." Esau smirked as he said "Well then, fuck you." Jacob smiled before he said "fuck you to." And walked off to his room. He closed the door behind him before opening it again and saying "Also, take a shower. I'm sure there's soap, and you smell like beer." Esau rolled his eyes once more before saying "Fine." Jacob's door closed once more  and a thud was heard from within his room.

     Thus the two grown men were settled in their new home, what high-jinks will ensue? Find out next time on Roommate, from, HELL!