Little Sparrow Mills

Chapter 11

It was so wonderful to see how happy Sparrow was as I watched her get her horse ready. She was so delicate and gracious with handling her. I reached over and got the saddle for her and walked over to help her. "So do you know what you want to name her?" I asked trying to make small talk. She looked over and then reached out to pet her,"Im not sure yet. I need some time with her I think. She needs a special name."

"Ready dear?" I asked as I mounted my horse. She gave a nod and we took off on a slow trot. I didn't want us to wander too far off from the castle incase Zelena or her monkeys were lurking in the forest, so I made sure we stayed close by. We rode in silence for awhile taking in the beautiful day. After what felt like hours but was really only a few minutes, we began talking. "It's so beautiful here, I can't imagine growing up here." She said. "Well, Snow is the one who grew up here. I just married into it. It was....interesting to say the least. I was the queen, but really didn't feel like it. After the King uhh died....things got complicated." I replied hoping she wouldn't ask about The Evil Queen.

I could sense by the way Regina ended that sentence that she probably didn't want me to ask about her Evil Queen days. Sure I heard some of the horror stories but I was so secluded that I really didn't know much about things going on at that time. Regardless of what happened or what she did, she wasnt that person to me. I'm getting a different side to her now. It was quiet for a few minutes. I felt she didn't want to talk further about it but I wanted to get to know her more, know her side. "Is it....is it ok to ask about those days?" I sheepishly asked. I peaked up and saw her sigh a little. "I don't know much. I was very secluded during those years. I heard stories but I know there are two sides to every story.... If you dont want to talk about it I understand. I just want to get to know you more. I promise not to judge. Whatever happened back then, I can see you're not the same person." I said as I gave a slight smile.

      I sighed knowing that eventually she would want to know about my past. I don't blame her. Just like with Henry I don't want her to know what happened during those years but if I want her to open up to me then I should give her the same curtesy. "I don't even know where to begin." I said as I looked over to her and she smiled at me. "Well...." So I began to tell her about my life. I told her about my mother and how she was. Although I was hesitant, I even told her how I had fallen in love with the stable boy, her father, and how....he died. She had his eyes and I wanted so badly to tell her that too. "Im so sorry Regina." She said with a sadness in her voice. I then went on to talk about how me and Snow had fought all those years, leaving a lot of horrible stuff out. She didn't need to know that stuff. And then I ended with the story of Henry and how we all ended up here. "I hope you won't look at me too differently. I have been worried about telling you about my life but feel it's important if we're going to get to know each other better."
"I'm not going to look at you differently! It's hard hearing all this stuff but everyone deserves a second chance. And you have shown me nothing but kindness and honesty." She said. Honesty I thought...That was like a punch to the gut. I needed to tell her the truth but how was I going to do that. I shook my head. Not now but soon! "I'm glad you and Henry had each other.  He was really lucky to have you.... Growing up an orphan is horrible.....And then to have found his birth mother...." She said trailing off at the end. Hearing her say those words nearly broke me inside. I'd give anything to change the past. To have had her grow up with me.... But maybe this was my way in. To tell her about me and the truth. "Sparrow, have you....have you ever wondered about your birth parents? Ever wanted to find them?" I asked her, but could see she didn't hear me.

      Thinking about Henry and how he got to grow up with Regina and then find his birth mother brought up feelings I thought had gone. Man what I would give to have grown up and known my birth mother....or even someone who was as caring Regina. Life maybe would have been so different for me. "Sparrow." I faintly heard as I was pulled out of my thoughts. "Hmm?" I said as I shook my head to bring me back to reality. "I asked if....you ever wondered about your own parents? Or ever wanted to find them?" I stopped the horse dead in her tracks. I swear she's like a mind reader or something. Regina stopped her horse and looked at me with such compassion. I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts, "Ummm yea....I suppose when I was younger I did. Just like all the other kids in the home. But," I said as I went to picking at my fingers. "But?" Regina said very softly. "But as I got older and was placed in horrific homes....stuff I dont even want to talk about that happened in them, I just got angry. Angry that they left me. Angry they hadn't come back. And then I felt guilty for feeling like that. Maybe they had a good reason for leaving me.....but eventually I just stopped feeling anything about them." I said trailing off again still picking at my fingers. Trying to avoid eye contact. "Sparrow...." Regina started to say something but I kicked the horse to start going again. "Its ok!" I said wiping the tears I felt coming. I looked over and gently smiled,"Its ok. If non of that had happened I wouldn't have met you."