Narnia's Shadow // Peter Pevensie

Love Is... Choosing You

I watched on with sadness as Aslan told me the news that He was going away. It didn't shock me because He always leaves when He knows that we don't need Him anymore (even though, I will always need Him). Although, it did surprise me that Aslan chose to leave as soon as the coronation was finished.

"I will miss you." I admit causing a sigh to escape His lips.

"I will miss you more, Little One."

We both stop to watch the waves roll onto the beach. The sound of the crashing water sent my body to relax. To release the tension from my shoulders. The sun was already setting down beyond the horizon like it was departing with the Lion beside me. 

Neither one of us needed to say anything. He knew what I was thinking because emotions wasn't something that a warrior needs. I, also, knew what He was saying without uttering a word.

"I'm glad to call you my Father." I tell him, turning my head to look at Him with a crooked smile. Aslan smiled as well. "You raised me. Fed me. Kept me safe. Gave me a family. And for that... I am forever grateful." Tears spring to the corner of my eyes which surprise me a bit because I was allowing myself to show such weakness. I wrap my arms around Him, nuzzling my face into his soft mane as the tears silently roll down my cheeks.

I felt His large paw gently snake around my waist to pull me closer.

"And I am proud to call you my Daughter." Aslan whispered. "One day, you will meet your family in another world. But for now... you have to deal with us." We both laughed. "I will return." 

I nod. Already knowing that He was going to come back in later time.

I pull away to stare at His face. Not knowing when I might see Him again. Silently, Aslan turned and continued walking further down the beach. 

Away from Cair Paravel. Away from the Kings and Queens of Narnia. Away from the people of Narnia... Away from me.

A deep and shaky sigh fell through me as I watched the Mighty Lion grow smaller and smaller. I close my eyes as a sudden burst of wind blew past me, whipping the loose strands of hair around my face.

"I love you, Aslan." I whisper to the wind.

And, I do not know if it was my ears playing tricks on me or if a throaty chuckle answered back along with a response. But either way a smile lift my lips as my heart swelled with hope that I once thought was lost forever.

"I love you, too, Natasha Barnes."

———————————

Barnes.

Is that a clue to who my family is? Is that another part of my name that my parents gave me?

Pondering thoughts rush at me as I stood still on the beach with my cloak still sitting on my shoulders. My eyes squint at the glaring sun which was setting. The party was still going on inside the castle but seeing as I don't go out much unless it involves the woods — seeing as I grew up running in them — I chose to stay outside long after Aslan's figure disappeared into nothing.

I didn't need to turn around to look who was walking towards me. I already knew by their footsteps and their most intoxicating smell that seem to have me under its spell. I smile small to not let him know that my heart was pounding in my chest.

"What are you doing out here?" Peter asked me as he stopped by my side. I shrug not having an answer.

"Came to say good-bye." I smirk in amusement at how fast he turned his neck to stare at me with narrowed brows and a frown on his face. But before he could ask I was already correcting myself; "To Aslan." I raise an eyebrow at how his face relax to relief. "When I make an oath, My King, I intend to keep them." 

Peter smiled.

"Good." His hand suddenly grabbed mine causing the strange feeling to appear in my stomach. The conversation that I had the other day with Susan and Lucy came rushing back. I thank Aslan for the setting sun to mask my burning cheeks. "Because, someone once told me that a person feels safe standing next to the person they care deeply about."

Air didn't seem to enter my lungs when his thumb started to rub circles on the back of my hand. We both stare deeply into each other's eyes. Peter's beautiful ocean blue eyes clash with my two uniquely different color eyes. I felt them glow slightly as I watch a scene of us sharing the kiss in the middle of the battle. And there goes the strange feelings again in my stomach that made my heart beat faster.

As much as I wanted to reach up and capture his lips in mine, Susan's words creep up into my mind.

"Does it ever scare you to watch the people you love age away? While you stay the same?" 

And it does. It terrifies me. Knowing that if this were to go any further, Peter would grow older and wither away while I stay the same forever. Not being able to join him. I look away from his tempting blue eyes in shame but not stepping away.

I can't do that to him. There is a saying that Tumnus always tells me; "If you love something so much that it hurts you... let them go."

But I don't want to let him go. I want to stay by him and be with him. I want to be selfish and keep him to myself but at the same time I need to let him go and meet a girl who will be able to age with him. For Peter to be happy with someone who won't weigh him down.

"What?" Peter asks me trying to catch my gaze. "What is it?"

"I can't." I mutter quietly.

"What?"

"I can't do that to you." I repeat a bit louder finally looking back up at him. "You deserve someone who will be able to age the same. I will not be the reason to hold you down." I say with a shake of my head. "I will forever be guilty if I allow this to go further and as you get older while I remain young."

Peter remained quiet throughout my rant. Not once interrupting. He listened to my words with a frown on his pink lips. My heart dropped the longer he remained silent.

"But, what if I want to be with you?" Peter asks me. It completely caught me off guard. Not thinking that he would ask such a thing. "What if I don't want anybody else? What if I want the girl who is strong  and refuses to go down the easy path? What if I want the girl who is stubborn and says what she is thinking?" He took another step closer. I can almost feel his hot breath on my cheek. "What if I want the girl whose eyes are so beautiful because of how different they are? What if I want the girl who protects others before herself? What if I want the girl who has abilities that bring me in awe?" Another step closer, I didn't bother to step back because a part of me wants to be close to Peter. "What if I want the girl named..." By this, he put a hand on my cheek causing my breath to catch in my throat, "...Natasha who I have gotten close to this past few days and the many more to come?"

Slowly, I place a hand on his cheek to which he leaned in while I place the other one on his hand that was on my cheek.

"How can you be so sure?" I whisper, afraid that if I talk any louder he will change his mind. "I can't be selfish, Peter." His eyes widen a bit when I said his name for the first time. "Your feelings will change—"

My words got interrupted by his lips clashing to mine. My eyes widen for a split second before kissing back. It felt right. Its like my body is complete. All of my worries, all my doubts, all my questions... vanished with a single kiss. His hand tighten on my waist to bring me closer.

"My feelings for you will never change." Peter said in pants once we pull away. We leaned our foreheads against each other. "Whether I grow older and you stay the same — you will always be the girl I love."

There is that word again.

Love.

He said that he loves me. I smile, not even going to attempt to hide it. Peter smiled with me. My hands fell on his face as I stare into his eyes to find them already looking at me.

"And you will always be the King I love."