Hard For Me

03

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I was silent for a moment because this was where everything started going down. I can't handle driving back to those memories. But for the betterment of me, for my therapist to help me, I should share everything.

"One time at a school fair, I.. I asked help from my friends to help set me up to Rose on a blind date. That's where I'll confess to her. I will tell her all my f-feelings for her that I've been carrying for so long. I want her to know that I.. love her." I sighed deeply. I comb my hair and leaned back on the chair. "But she rejected me."

"Ano 'to? Hoy! Hoy!" I heard Rose's loud voice while the officers of this booth were dragging her. I set this up. I made sure this morning that I'll confess my feelings for her today. I've already gathered all my courage for this day but I'm still a bit nervous.

"Hi, I'm Kayla. I'm here to tell you that your meals will be served later in a few, and your blindfolds will be coming off by the time the food arrives. So enjoy a little talk, your date for today has been planned well. You just have to sit back and relax. Ciao!"

I grinned. Finally a time for us. Sabi ko sa kanila wala ng istorbo pag andito na si Rose e'. I'm already waiting for her in this table. Even with this round table between us, I can sense her fear, nervousness, and the awkwards atmosphere.

"H-hi? Rose nga pala. Whoever you are, I'm sorry ha? Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nasali rito e'. Hinila lang ako." She started talking with her sweet voice. We're both on a blindfold to be fair with her. I just sat there shutting my lips.

I remained silent, afraid that she'll recognize my voice. My plan would totally fail if it happens.

When the meal was served, I asked for a full face mask so she'll not see my face yet. She already removed her blindfold and was shocked to see me.

"Pa-mysterious ka masyado ah?" She teased. It was a fun date. I tried changing my voice and initiate her to talk more so I could not speak so much. Her giggles and laughs were the best music to my ears.

Until it was the slow dance time. My friends were already surrounding the little room while the last part of song is playing. She was smiling the whole time we were dancing. And came the time where I have to remove the mask.

Her eyes widen and she took a step back when she saw me. Her lips transformed from a smile to an 'O'. I smiled, not minding her state. My friend handed me the bouquet of roses which were fresh from my Mom's garden. These were the flowers we planted when we were little. I took care of it.

"D-dan.." She's speechless. Her eyes went down the flowers. I went near her and held her hand.

"Rose, we've been together for a long time. And in those times, I slowly felt these feelings I didn't knew existed. Remember these?" I gave her the flowers. "We planted that. I swore to my self that I'll give these to you when I'm already brave enough to tell you that I.. I like you, Rose. I love you. I've been loving you ever since."

Finally, I confessed. I released a relieved sigh until.. My face turned opposite when she started shaking her head. My brows furrowed.

"No.. Hindi pwede, Dan. You can't like me!" sabi niya. She dropped the flowers which made my lips part. "Sinasabi mo lang 'yan kasi simula pagkabata magkasama na tayo. Hindi mo ako gusto. Naguguluhan ka lang. Nasanay ka lang."

We both jumped in shock when one of the party poppers exploded. It was Reid. My friends were just as speechless as I am. I can't believe Rose is rejecting me. I thought the feeling's mutual? I can sense that. She also likes me but she's just afraid to admit.

"May iba akong gusto!" She finally remarked when I tried to explain that I genuinely love her, not just because I was used to her presence.

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