VI ; but you'd expect that from me.

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« clifford »

"Shh, Mikey it's okay to not be okay." Ashton whispered keeping his eyes locked with mine with such intensity I felt like they could see clearly through me, and that scared me.

"But I'm okay Ashy." I smiled lightly pulling my sleeves down over my hands and curling them into fists before wiping my eyes dry of tears.

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not."

We kept staring at one other with harsh gazes, his feeling like it could make me explode into a thousand small pieces, and that terrified me. I heard somebody nearby scoff, "Michael you're a god damn liar."

I shot my attention towards the other voice and sighed, of all people he accused me of lying.

Hypocrite much?

"Fuck you Hemmings."

"You've always wanted to fag." Ashton visibly cringed as I chewed the inside flesh of my cheek in attempt to keep from ripping off his balls and feeding them to everybody, it's not like they'd notice the difference from the rubbish we call school food -- but I resisted the urge.

"Oh really?" Ashton asked innocently as he tilted his head quizzically.

Luke smirked and nodded his head not releasing me from his gaze.

"What makes you think that Hemmings?"

"Oh trust me, kitten here has wanted my dick since day one."

In any other situation I would've squealed at the nickname because c'mon, kittens are adorable meaning he'd think I was adorable. But I know him, and his usage of the phrase meant something totally different -- he was just calling me weak, a pussy basically.

Ashton smirked, "really, well what about now?"

He cupped my cheek in his warm palm before pressing his lips to mine, I didn't protest as we moved our lips in perfect sync. It felt nice to his soft lips working with mine though it ended all so soon, he nibbled on my bottom lip before tugging it with his teeth teasingly.

That was my first kiss.

That was amazing.

But it wasn't Luke.

"I quite honestly believe Michael enjoyed that more than your presence."

Luke just shook his head and turned on his heel disappearing down the hallway.

He does have a nice butt.

Shut up fag.

You don't control me.

Oh but I do kitten.

My head began to pound as the voice dissolved to hysterical laughter.

»

I went through the rest of the day avoiding the office and hoping my homeroom teacher hadn't noticed I'd skipped the task. By time lunch came around my stomach was begging for something -- anything -- to tie me over for the day, it felt as if my stomach acids were tearing away at the interior of my stomach.

"An apple wouldn't hurt me." I whispered to myself grabbing a red apple from the lunch line and handing the woman some change.

My eyes frantically searched the crowd, still not my best idea to come here as I noticed how many people were here. Towards the back of the room I saw two familiar boys giggling side by side making me scurry in their direction.

"Mikey finally, we thought Luke had eaten you." Calum said smiling widely to reveal chocolate stuck in his teeth making me scrunch up my nose.

"And you were gonna let that happen?" I asked allowing my voice to grow shrill in false accusation as I pressed a hand to my heart dramatically.

Stop being so gay.

Sorry.

They giggled and shook their heads simultaneously and I though of how creepy it was -- hopefully they don't do that shit often.

I smiled at them before rubbing the edge of my shirt against my apple to rid it of anybody else's germs since I couldn't get up and wash my hands whenever I wanted to. As the apple touched the edge of my lips and had barely brushed my teeth I heard a voice behind me whisper in my ear, "hey Michael no need to deep throat the apple, you're fat enough faggot." His lips brushed my ear before he sauntered off.

I stood up and walked towards the garbage before throwing the uneaten apple away along with my heart.

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