PARADISE LOST | JJ Maybank VS Rafe Cameron

SIX

S I X

[age 14]

JULIETTE WANTED TO BE ALONE TODAY. She'd made sure to tell her father, Sarah, and Rafe to not come find her. She'd even turned her phone off so no one could reach her, yet here was this boy clambering aboard the boat with his usual shit-eating grin.

"How," Juliette started, absolutely bewildered as she sat on the ledge of the boat. "How the hell did you know where to find me?"

"I've got Julie-Radar on me, sweetheart," came the obnoxious reply of JJ as he went to sit in front of her. The boat slightly swayed on the water as she reached a hand down to hold onto something and steady herself. "Nah, I'm kidding — I snooped through your hospital records and knew what today is."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief. "You were serious when you said you'd look up my files in the hospital?"

     "Yes, ma'am, I was," he replied cheekily, placing a large cooler between them. He pushed it open to reveal a few cans of beer and soda. JJ grabbed one of each, handing her a Coke. "Cheers to Benjamin."

Before he could even open his drink, Juliette took it from him and swapped it with another Coke so they were both drinking the same thing. "You're fourteen," she chastised lightly, but raised her can and said, "To Benjamin."

JJ made a face at the drink exchange, but said nothing as he followed suit to raise a toast. He took a sip, leaning back to get more comfortable as he asked quietly, "How old were you when Benjamin died?"

For a moment, Juliette said nothing. She was just staring out into the horizon as she took another sip of her Coke. "My mother was pregnant with Benjamin when I was four. It wasn't until two months 'til I turned five did she go into labor. Everything seemed to be fine — the doctors didn't see anything wrong." She paused, poking her tongue against the inside of her cheek, a habit of Rafe's she picked up on from time to time.

     "Julie, it's okay, you don't have to tell me," JJ said gently. It's the most serious she's ever seen him since their last meeting.

     "No, it's fine," she insisted, clearing her throat before turning to meet his gaze. "Benjamin was already dead when he'd been pushed out, the umbilical cord had been wrapped around too tightly around his neck. My mother passed shortly after — postpartum hemorrhage. The doctors couldn't save either one of them."

     JJ was silent as the sound of the waves crashing behind them was all that was heard. In a way, it was peaceful to get to tell him the story of her past despite how much it hurt. She was glad he didn't try to say anything, because it felt more comforting that way to just sit with him.

     "My dad and I could barely keep it together. All I did was wail at night for my mom, and he didn't have it easy. Not when he was carrying the grief of losing both wife and son, and the burden of raising me all alone." Juliette chuckled to herself as she thought of Conrad fondly. "My dad's a superhero — I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world."

     JJ's lips pulled up to a smile at what she'd said albeit it was one that had traces of longing. "It must be nice to have a dad like yours," he said lightly, yanking his cap off as the wind ruffled his hair. "My dad's kind of a jerk."

     Juliette said nothing response, letting her eyes do a quick once over at JJ. She took note of that faraway hurt in his eyes, the faint bruises barely hidden on his arms, and her heart clenched for him. "Hey, JJ," she said.

     He turned to look at her, his pale blue eyes the color of chips of ice.

     "For what it's worth — I think your dad must've saved someone in his past life to be so lucky to have you as his son."

     No response was needed, and Juliette didn't expect one. JJ was still staring at her as she resorted to finishing her Coke. He was blinking rapidly, trying to keep tears from leaking, but Juliette could tell he wanted to cry from the way his eyes glittered like starlight.

     And for the first time in his life — JJ's heart skipped a beat.

     "To Benjamin and my mom," Juliette said, raising her empty can in the air before stuffing it inside the trash bag.

     JJ raised his can, eyes never leaving hers as he said, "To Juliette Starling — the girl with the biggest heart I know." His lips curled up to a smile as he watched the way she grinned. He watched the way her blonde hair ruffled from the wind and flowed under the sun. He watched the way her green eyes resembled hazel with the faint gold flecks from the light.

     He had no clue what it was like to fall in love someone. But JJ felt like this would be pretty damn close to it.