You Are My Light Part II

277 - Resentment

A/N - hey everybody, for some reason the chapters are all out of sync again. I've tried to fix it multiple times, but a few days later, they're all jumbled up again. Sorry for the confusion, I don't get why this happened, but we might just have to deal with it.

/

"What do you see when you look at him?" Catherine asks, touching the baby's crib with one hand, staring straight at her daughter in law as she stands near her. It's an old crib, Francis used to sleep in it when he was younger, and the nee King instructed that this child, this three week old little whimpering bag of pale skin and dirty blonde hair, was to take refuge inside it's golden walling that took after France's great chateauxs in the east. "Do you see a baby, just like any other? Your precious little stepson?"

"Of course not." Mary hisses, turning away from Catherine and the child. It'd been four days of this cycle. This never ending cycle of pretence and espionage and lies have already began to take their tole on the new Queen of France. "How can I look at this child and see an innocent? How can I look into his eyes and not think of the betrayal, the uncertainty and the danger he brings?"

"I remember when you were young, so appalled that I could treat Sebastian as I did-"

"I was a child, I didn't understand. But now? All I can see when I look at the two of us is a mirror. How can I try and be the woman my husband wants me to be when all I can think of is the opportunity to right this wrong?" She looks down at the sleeping child, and her hand aches to raise upwards towards the baby's face.

Catherine chuckled, like she did when tiny Claude would bellow at little Charles got ruining her dresses or getting his saliva onto her face. It's almost motherly, but its downright frightening and sends a chill through Mary's spine.

"Now you're getting it." she whispers. "It is hard, I know. But the two of us are Queens, and we cannot see things as they are, but as they will become. You cannot see this child, and see an infant-"

"What do you see? Your dear, sweet grandson? Someone to use against me? Are you going to poison my bathwater if I think ill against him?"

"I see my son's child. I see the boy that will make my son a true father as he grows. But I see the small child who will cause tribulation and issue in my son's marriage."

Mary swallows.

"It is hard, I know. I also know you, Mary. I know how you will react to this child, I know how Francis will too. He will claim this child, hold him publically. Tell the world who he is and-"

"Enough!" Mary snaps, turning away. "If you're just going to taunt me, then I have no time for it."

"I'm not here to taunt, Mary." Catherine states. "I'm telling you the truth. You cannot see a child of this nature, and simply see a child. You must think of what will be in the future."

"A threat?"

"A threat." she affirms. "Someone who may come between you and your husband, who may affect your abilities to have a-"

"If you say child, I will scream. I think its plainly obvious that that's not going to happen because of my failure."

Catherine opens her mouth to reply, but at that moment, the baby starts to cry. Mary bites her lip and moves swiftly away, allowing Catherine to comfort the child, cooing and bouncing the baby in her arms. Mary swallows the bile she feels in her throat as Catherine clutched at her grandson, the only grandson from her eldest son, she thought bitterly.

When the babe is settled and quieted down, Mary slowly walks towards the crib again. Seeing Francis' son in Francis' crib with Francis' mother in Francis' castle sends a pang through towards her heart. Francis' son that's not her child makes her sick, but in that horrible way that hurts her chest and makes tears burn at her eyes.

"What if I can't?" she whispers. "What if I can't give Francis a child, a son? And this is just a permanent reminder of it? A walking, talking, breathing personification of betrayal and heartache and regret? And I have to sit here, every day for the rest of my life, watching my husband and my friend parent a child while I remain barren? That he's everything I will never have?"

"You can't think like that, Mary. This child will be an obsticle, he will, but not be a wall in the things you want. I know I speak if cruel things in jest, but in truth, I haven't seen my son smile brighter other than when he's with you. And there is no other thing i want for him than to be happy and safe. What's the one thing he wants more than anything? To be a family, with you. A child of your own. I know I can't magic a child from thin air, but, here-" she passes Mary two pastel coloured vials. "that-that should do the trick." She pats Mary's cheek, composing herself. "Goodnight."

A/N - I've got a couple kinda dramatic oneshots coming up, but there's some frary pregnant/baby oneshots coming up to make up for it