Afterlife | LISRENE

Chapter 9: Take Me, Now

After Lisa and I visited my friends namely Wendy, Jennie, and Joy. We decided that it's time to go to Daegu

"How many hours do I have left?" I asked while walking to towards the train

"Uh... 13 hours" she replied shortly, something is off with her I can feel it

"Okay, travel time is 3-4 hours the most. So if that happens I only have atleast 9 hours with them"

"Yep, then it's go time" Lisa replied

Her reply is short and in monotone, just like how I met her in the first time. Something is off, but I decided not to ask her, maybe she's just tired. I mean, I can be a lot of work sometimes.

A part of me still wants to believe that this is all just a dream, that I'm not dead. A lot of bad things happened in my life just for me to die like that? Don't I deserve better? Of course the thought of 'I want to die' kind of thing when I was alive crossed my mind, but I was stressed and that's how we often relieve stress right? It's either we pray 'Lord, strengthen me' or 'Lord, just take me!' I didn't know he'd take it seriously.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a beep sound and the train's door opened

I turned to Lisa and said "Let's go?"

She just nodded and replied with a smile

"Daegu here we go!" I enthusiastically said and ran like a kid inside the train

While taking a seat, Lisa and I settled ourselves for a hours of ride

"Being dead has its perks, free ride" I said while sitting comfortably at her right side

"You should rest" she said and straightened her back while sitting

"You should rest too, I know you're tired because of me" I replied with a chuckle

"I'm okay" she replied again in her monotone voice, I'm getting more concerned now. I should ask her later

"Okay, but rest if you're tired. It takes hours going to Daegu"

I turned to my right side and closed my eyes trying to sleep but I can't, I shift uncomfortably trying to get a comfortable position. I sighed, my  eyes are still closed not wanting to give up on sleeping. I'm giving up this might be the karma of my revenge on Bogum. Feeling hopeless I sat straight and just wanted to bump my head on the seat in from of me when suddenly I felt Lisa's hand sneak on the right side of my head pulling me close to her shoulder so I could lean

I frozed on her action but still managed to reply

"Thanks"

Leaning on her shoulder is comfortable but I can't bring myself to sleep. My heart, it beats oddly. My stomach is twisting and feels different. My brain, cannot comprehend what is happening. I shouldn't be feeling this, I'm dead. But I-I don't know how to ignore this, it feels so right yet so wrong.

"I hope I won't forget you" Lisa mumbled but clear enough for me to hear

The train stopped on the station so we walked out and went to the nearest bus stop.

While walking my feet feels heavy on every step that I make. I'm not ready to see what my family's reaction would be. I don't want to see them broken, I dont want to see them suffering. I had responsibilities, I can't burden them like this. They  don't deserve this, they don't.

I stopped from walking and took a deep breath, I should pull myself together because nobody can do it but me

"Are you okay?" Lisa stopped from walking and, asked me

"Yeah, I'm just taking my time"

We arrived at the bus stop and waited for the bus to arrive while sitting at the bench just minding our own business

"I heard you" I said and looked at her

"Hmmm?" she said while looking at her boots

"I said I heard you"

She looked at me confusedly not getting what I mean

I sighed and took a deep breath "I heard what you said when you thought I was asleep"

She looked nervous and her eyes widen on the revelation, she pursed her lips trying to form an explanation inside her head. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply then looked at me

"I don't want to forget you" she whispered

"Then don't"

"You don't understand"

"Then make me" I held her hand and looked at her in the eyes "please"

"We forget the souls after we deliver them because we're not allowed to remember them"

"For a reason" I said and realized something "You'll forget me for a reason and I'll forget you for a reason. After I get reincarnated I won't even remember my family, and you're a grim reaper you're not supposed to be emotionally attached to the souls you deliver" my heart sank on the realization, no matter what we'll do at the end of the day we're meant to forget each other's existence

"I'll find you in the afterlife" I looked at her and her eyes screams 'vow'

"What do you mean?"

"I'll get the promotion, and if the theory is right....... I'll search for you in the afterlife" (If you don't get it, just reread Chapter 7: There's A Rumour)

I nodded and she hugged me tight. I met the right person at the wrong time, we might not meant to be together now but I hope--- no scratch that. I have faith, I have faith that we'll meet again but on the right time and circumstance

"Find me in the afterlife, I will never hide" as if on cue the bus appeared and we entered holding each others hand

I stood outside our house not ready to see my sister and mother's situation, they might have received the news already

"Take your time" Lisa said and caressed my back

"I don't have that luxury" I chuckled and took a deep breath

I passed through the gate and entered the house with Lisa following me. It's quiet, there's nobody in the living room. I went to the room that the three of us share since our house is small, we only have one room, small table, kitchen, comfort room, and a small living room. I entered the room and saw my sister and mother sleeping peacefully hugging each other, I sat beside them and looked closely at their faces, it's obvious that they cried to sleep, their eyes swell and their nose puff and reddish.

This sight alone made me cry again, how much more if they're awake and mourning? I want to yell, I want to punch somebody, I want to destroy everything. I cried loudly since they won't hear me anyway, because I'm dead. I'm dead, fucking dead!

I kept asking myself why does bad thing keep happening to me. Did I do something wrong? The word 'deserve' keeps ringing on my mind. 'Do I deserve this?' 'Do they deserve this?' 'I deserve better'. I'm tired. Being alive and being dead is exhausting.

"I'm here" Lisa said ang hugged me tightly

"I can't handle this anymore" I said still crying heavily "Take me, now"

"Shhhhhh" she said and caressed my back

"Please I'm begging you. Take me, now"

"Just breathe first"

"It hurts so much Lisa, I don't want to feel pain anymore"

"Okay, okay. If that's what you want" she said and looked at me in the eye "I'll find you in the afterlife" she kissed me then everything went black.

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The next chapter will be the end. I'll probably upload it tomorrow if I can, since we'll be having class next week I have to end this ASAP
💜💛