jealousy, jealousy

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A/N
this is a non-magic au, which means everyone just goes to a normal highschool. and this is in Ginny's point of view, so if you guys dislike that, feel free to read something else. but if not, enjoy! :)

But jealousy, jealousy (yeah)

Ginny glared angrily at draco from across the room. God did she hate that boy. He got everything he wanted. he got everything SHE wanted.

All your friends are so cool, you go out every night

Ginny seethed silently as she stared at the blonde boy laughing with his friends. Draco was one of the popular kids in school he was in his own group that was proclaimed as the 'silver trio' and he was dating Harry Potter, the love of her life. His friends were all so rich and attractive. they had good grades and were well liked by teachers. and most importantly. they were way out of her league. Even her own brother would rather hang out with them than her. she remembers all the times she saw her friends with invitations to come to a party at one of the 'silver trios' house. she never even got an invitation before. and that made her feel left out. but she's never going to admit that to anyone.

In your daddy's nice car, yeah, your livin' the life.

Ginny remembers walking home one day only to see the blonde boy with his friends, plus harry, in a silver Mercedes Benz, driving and laughing together, blasting the music loudly. she could also clearly see the moment harry kisses draco in the back of the car. she remembers feeling the familiar burn of hot tears at the back of her eyes, threatening to spill over if she spends another secondly looking at her crush for the past decade, kissing someone else. she remembers running home, flopping onto her bed and crying her eyes out. life was just not fair

Got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend too

She hates how attractive Draco is. she hates that his eye lashes are so long. she hates that he is able to have perfectly flawless skin. she hates that he has blonde hair and grey eyes while she is stuck with a badly tanned skin and ugly ginger hair. she hates that he is perfect in every aspect that she is not.

what she hates even more is the fact that his boyfriend is Harry Potter. the one man she has ever loved in her entire life. the one man who can bring her to her knees with just one look. the one man who has a perfect smile that can brighten up any room. the one man who she longs to be with. the one man she would give up everything for. the one man that was taken from her before she could even have him. the one man who, though she loved above all else, could never love her back. atleast not in the same way she loves him. and she hates it. she. hates. draco. malfoy.

I wanna be you so bad, and I don't even know you.

The amount of nights in which she cries herself to sleep, wishing she could be him. wishing she could be what harry wanted. wishing, that just maybe, maybe if she was a boy, harry would like her back. wishing that maybe if she was blonde, he would love her. wishing that if she had pretty grey eyes, he would love her. wishing that is she had good grades, he would love her. wishing that if she was as slender as him, he would love her. she remembers all the times she found herself, bent over a toilet bowl, vomiting out the contents of her dinner, hoping that maybe if she was skinnier he would like her. the amount of hours she spent Infront of a mirror, trying to put makeup on her face, hoping, that is she's prettier, he would love her. she remembers staring at Draco and Harry, wishing that she could be draco. even if just for a few seconds, she would give anything to be in his position. she hates how desperate she's become. she hates it. she hates that she wants to be him.

All I see, is what I should be

She just wants to be him. she just wants what he has. she just wants to be able to be like him. to be better.

Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy

she wants to be as attractive as he is. she wants to look beautiful. pretty. better. she wants to be happy. she wants to feel good about herself. she wants to stop this ugly feeling in her chest. this ugly feeling of hatred. this horrible feeling of emptiness. this horrible feeling of jealousy.

All I see, is what I should be

She just wants to be better. to be someone else. to be someone that's not her. to be someone that's actually worth something. to be someone worth loving. to be someone better. to be blonde. to be paler. to be a man. to have grey eyes. to have cool friends. to have good grades. to have good money. to be him.

I'm losin' it, all I get's, jealousy, jealousy

she's slowly losing her mind. she hates it. she hates everything. she hates him. she hates his friends. she hates the world for putting her in this position. she hates that she's not perfect. she hates that she's not ok. she hates that everything she does is never enough. she hates that's she's not enough. she hates that she's pretty. she's not better. she's not him. she hates her ginger hair, that looks so much better on other people. she hates that she has freckles that mares her skin like ugly scars. she hates that whatever she wears look better in other people. she hates that she's not thin enough. she hates her eyes that are a common brown. she hates that nothing she does makes her stand out from the crowd.

But most importantly, Ginny Weasley hates herself.










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