Making A Difference

Suar ke Bachon

"You know chronicling 2 dogs consummating, to a 7 year old was probably not the best idea, dontcha think?"

"Okayyy Kavin SheikhPyaare. Yyyep that's your new name," Purvi nodded to him, still immersed in her files, only making him roll his eyes. 

The officers had worked the case for that day and were now completing the evidence filing and filling in the database and the like.

*

The day after, Kavin came in for desk duty only to find the whole bureau gathered around Shaheer and Purvi doing a match of Chopsticks, with Pankaj collecting the money in his guinea pig's (named Guinea Pankaj) cage as every CID officer in sight placed a bet; mostly on Purvi because fuck Shaheer (that too, I swear I am trying).

Kavin didn't see Pankaj with Guinea Pankaj making his way over to him.

He also didn't notice GP munching on the cash flowing into his cage.

And neither did he notice when Purvi looked at him with distracted eyes hoping he'd place a bet on her skillset.

He only noticed the switch board in front of him short circuiting when he plugged in his dead best friend (his phone, I mean).

But neither of them noticed how Shaheer won the game, seconds before the lights went out.

*In popped Sachin Tendulkar with a Luminous Powers Inverter in hand ("tAaKi kHushiYon kO kiSi Ki nAzaR nA LagE") and the electricity is restored because why not*

When the lights turned back on, everybody saw someone, rather something, which made them wish for the darkness to engulf the whole fucking world.

It was Chitrole standing with GP's cage in his hand, and the cash nowhere to be seen.

"PANKAJ! Tumhe pata hai na bureau mein pets allowed nahi hain. Phir tum iss guinea ke suar ko utha laaye?"

"Guinea pig*, sir."

"MUJHE HINDI TO ENGLISH TRANSLATION MAT SIKHAO. WREN AUR MARTIN MERE HI STUDENTS HAIN."

"Pets banned hain toh phir toh Vansh ko bhi ban kar do," Abhijeet murmured to Daya, making him wheeze.

"Something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Abhijeet?"

"No sir."

"Goood. Mujhe machhi market wale dialogue tak nahi jaana tha."

"Par sir aap GP ko chhodiye, uske cage mein jo cash tha hume vaapas kijiye."

"Konsa cash?"

"Abhi describe kiya location ko. Phir karun?"

"Tum kehna chahte ho maine use churaaya?"

"Nahi par cash cage mein tha. Cage aapke paas hai. Toh until and unless one of us has gone senile, cash bhi aapke paas hi hona chahiye."

"Arey fuddu logon, ek choohe ke pinjre mein note daaloge toh voh thodi na anarkali pe udaayega. Voh toh usse khaayega."

"Par voh Anarkali ko kaise khaayega? Voh toh anar bhi nahi khaata lol," reasoned Pankaj.

"AREY ANARKALI KO NAHI PAISON KO. TUMHAARA SUAR PAISE KHAATA HAI."

"Huh at least criminals se toh nahi khaata, unlike Mr. uhu-uhu," coughed Purvi under her breath, making the backbenchers chuckle.

"Dekho mai maanta hu mai tatti aadmi hun, par iss suar ki tatti mein se paise main bhi nahi churaaunga."

"Sir but-"

"Oh shut up, you bet your ass he's gonna poop out 20 gandhijis right now."

"you know that wouldn't happen because of digestion, right..?"