The Gray Dancer

27. BITTER DAYS

HANNA DIDN'T SAY MUCH AFTER. She raked her fingers through her hair, a slight smile forming over her lips. Hanna didn't want to overwhelm Derrick or force him to share things he didn't want to share. She didn't want to force Derrick to tell her things he didn't feel comfortable sharing, even though Hanna knew it was so much better to share.

Derrick had made her realize that.

When Hanna shared her burdens with someone, the weight she carried had often seemed a little less light. It didn't feel like her thoughts restrained her as hard. The chains would still exist, but they didn't wrap around her as tightly as before, holding her back in the past. Hanna would feel so much better when she exposed herself.

Even if Hanna didn't like to share, she couldn't deny that sharing made things easier.

Hanna glanced towards Derrick, staring at the sad smile that rested over his peach lips. Looking at him now, Hanna noticed that she had seen this smile before. She had recognized the hurt smile he wore.

Hanna couldn't stand seeing him like this. As she stared at him for longer, she couldn't help but recognize the similarity. It didn't leave her mind for a bit. She had seen him like this before for sure, but she hadn't noticed it then.

Hanna couldn't help but worry about how many times she had missed Derrick's emotions. She had been so busy trying to take care of herself that she never checked on Derrick. She never had made sure he was fine. He had always helped her with his bright aura and had never asked for anything more, but Hanna ignored him. She didn't notice his feelings.

Hanna had never looked after Derrick like how he had looked after her.

She sighed, glancing at him again. It seemed like he had so much built up that he didn't share. He had so much hidden away that nobody knew about. She couldn't help but let her lips curve downwards into a silent frown.

"Derrick, it helps if you tell someone." Hanna's voice lightened as she tried to tell him, "You don't need to tell me, but believe me when I say it helps."

Derrick didn't say anything to Hanna. His stare only drifted towards her, staring at her with his dull eyes. To Hanna, it seemed that he was conflicted with himself. One part of him wanted to tell Hanna while the other didn't.

He seemed so distressed.

Hanna waited a few more seconds, hoping that he would maybe speak up and lessen his burden. She stared at him in silence as he thought of what to do.

Then, Derrick looked up at her, shifting his stare from the floor to meet Hanna's chocolate orbs. The smile that had once painted over his lips had wiped clean with a frown replacing it.

"Hanna." He stared at her, his eyes sinking as he spoke, "You won't hate me, will you?"

"Derrick... I could never hate you."

Hanna's head fell. Derrick had never been like this before. He had always been so calm and bright. Never had she expected to see him sad. Hanna didn't even know at one point if it was possible to see him like this ever. He had always been a beacon of hope for others.

And Hanna, too, would be a beacon of hope for him, just like he'd been one for her.

She would make sure he would smile again.

Hanna reassured him again, "I'm here for you, okay."

She turned to face Derrick again, her eyebrows raising at his sudden sigh. He seemed to be conflicting with himself again, debating on what to do. He didn't smile at all in the last few minutes, not even a fake smile.