Yoongi's Rules • MYG

Twenty Six

You told Amelia everything, from the car incident to your first dinner, to the rules, to the storming out. You could tell she wanted to call out your temper but she didn't. When you brought up Seojun she became confused, asking why you dated someone else when you wanted Yoongi but you shushed her. As you described the club with the drunken Seojun she became increasingly angry.

"He what? Did you punch him?" You soothed her by quickly explaining how Namjoon had protected you, shoving the handsy Seojun away. She went all soft nodding as you continued.

You told her about your talk when Yoongi showed up, Eun-ji's catty behavior, bailing on his apartment, and his detective work. Amelia looked overwhelmed but was following along a wistful smile forming.

You fondly lead her through your cute day at the art village then told her about the pics when you returned. She looked horrified at that, but you hurried to clarify they were photoshopped probably by Eun-ji. She knew the rest of your story from the last 4 weeks, dates with Yoongi even though she hadn't realized it was him, new friends, painting class, exploring the city and it's people without a car to shield you.

"You're in love with him?" Amelia stirred her spoon through the ice cream you were both eating.

"What? I didn't say that." You took a big bite the cold ice cream cooling your hot cheeks.

"I mean you didn't say the words specifically but the way you described your interactions with Yoongi and your face when you say his name, girl you're down bad." Amelia smiled gently and shrugged.

It's not like she wasn't right. You did love Yoongi. His softness with you, his quiet strength, the immense way he cared for you, always feeding you and making sure you were healthy. His brain fascinated you, there were always things to talk about, you never tired of being with him, hearing him tell you about things he enjoyed. His talent was off the charts, you felt so proud of his abilities and how he expressed them, always finding new ways to put his spark into the world. He was funny and goofy, making you laugh, giving you silly moments. Yoongi was fearless, sexy, and you craved his touch to the point you were losing control.

These were all the reasons you wanted to tell him how you felt, confess that he was exactly what you wanted. They were also all the reasons you couldn't. If you opened that door how would you ever keep enough boundaries up to not fall back into old habits. As much as you loved Yoongi, you loved the new you as well. You were fighting for her, and it was just too soon to become so comfortable, you didn't trust her to survive.

Carefully, tears forming you told all this to Amelia. She pulled you into a hug, hands rubbing your back. You wanted her to say something, disagree with you, tell you how crazy you sounded but she didn't. When you finally gathered yourself and sat up she smiled sadly.

"I think you're right, and I hate it. You can be really needy and dependent on other people. Our whole friendship you have been really complacent with allowing me to take charge. When you're alone you close off and struggle to initiate your life. The fact that you're doing it now is huge Y/N! I've never been more proud." You felt more tears coming but you swallowed the lump back down with fierceness.

"I feel like I'm already starting to slip up, I almost canceled a painting class because he asked me to dinner, and I hadn't seen him in a couple days. I feel like the busier he gets the more I'll sacrifice of myself to be with him. I've not learned to be alone in a content way." You felt miserable but you thought you knew what you needed to do.

After crying it out with Amelia she smoothed her cool palm against your cheek. Tears were in her own eyes, you could tell how awful she felt for you. You both headed to bed, you had to talk to Yoongi tomorrow and you needed to sleep on your decision.

~

YN: Hey

MY: Hey kitten

YN: Can I come over after work? 6?

MY: Yes. Are you okay?

YN: Of course, see you tonight

MY: Should I make dinner?

You knew this question was a test. He was feeling you out, his real question was are you going to be here long enough to eat. You held your phone in your palm, the bright screen on your messaging app fading as it auto locked. You finally nodded and messaged him back.

YN: You know I'm always hungry

MY: I'm always hungry for you

You never knocked on his door anymore, always let yourself in, as you approached it you still felt yourself pause. Swallowing hard and taking a breath you smiled and opened the door. The living room was empty but you smelled deliciousness coming from the kitchen. You hung your purse on the coat rack and headed that way.

Like the first time you'd been in Yoongi's apartment you found yourself admiring the albums on the walls of the hallway. You paused reading carefully 'BTS-No More Dream Single Gold' 'BTS-Dark and Wild Album Gold' 'Agust D- Agust D Album- Gold'. You remembered watching him rapping in Namjoon's studio, all confidence and natural. Your heart had beat so hard in your chest admiring him. Yoongi was exactly what you wanted, what you needed.

"Y/N, I didn't hear you come in. Hey baby." You were in his arms, his strong forearm wrapped around your waist and you kissed, your feet almost lifting from the floor. After a moment you felt tears on your cheeks, big fat ones tumbling down sloppily.

"Kitten? What's wrong?" Yoongi had pulled back touching his own lips, wet with your tears.

"Yoongi, I came to end things with you." Your voice shook, but the truth was out, this hadn't been your plan. You'd wanted to have dinner, soak up every last moment with him.

"Then get the fuck out Y/N."