The Shamer's Daughter - A Fanfiction

Chapter 27 - Freeing a soul

Rose came with her both to show Dina her way back to the Widow's house and to get her clothes back, but they both knew she had also come because she had nowhere else to go. That awful place wasn't her home anymore. She had given Dina a scarf to wear around her head, so she was harder to recognise and looked less like a boy. They were now two poor girls delivering laundry instead of a boy with fire wood. They were carrying a basket between them, with dirty clothes on top of Dina's bloody garments. But after they had walked for a little while, Dina noticed sniffling from her new friend and couldn't help but ask what was the matter, even though it was quite obvious.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt?" You could still see one of the red marks on the side of her face.

"No."

"Well, then what's..."

"Nothing." She quickly responded and wiped her nose in her sleeve. Dina put down her side of the basket, so Rose had to stop as well.

"Rose..."

"Just stop it! Okay?" Her voice was both hissing and sobbing at the same time. "I know what you're thinking. About me and my mother, and our... family. But I don't care." Dina tried to interrupt her, but Rose wouldn't let her speak. "So what, I'm a bastard. That's not my fault is it? And if you ask me, we have just as much right to be here as anybody else!"

"I never said that..." But she still wasn't done.

"No, and you don't have to! I know what you think. You won't even look at me." Suddenly Dina chuckled. It was very rude, everything considered, but it only confused Rose, because it was so far from the reaction she had expected.

"Rose?" When she wasn't interrupted this time, she continued. "My mother wasn't married either."

"Well then I don't know why you're feeling so high and mighty about yourself." She tried to preserve her hurt and offended tone, but the confusion easily shone through.

"I'm not high and..."

"Then why won't you look at me!?" If she would only stop interrupting her.

"Rose..." Dina really liked her. She was stubborn and honest and she would never dream of treating you like Cilla used to treat her at home. And she wouldn't turn her back to a friend like Sasia had done. She was brave enough to stand up to her disgusting brother and tell him to clean his own damn boots. She had really hoped that Rose would be the friend she never had. But of course you can't be friends with someone if you can't even look each other in the eye. Dina sighed and then pulled both Rose and the basket into a narrow and empty alley. There still weren't many people on the streets, so it wasn't hard to find a deserted spot. Then she slowly looked up and met Rose's curious gaze.

"My mother has three children and was never married. Shamer's don't usually marry." She looked straight into Rose's eyes and found they were both hazel, green and blue all together. Tears had gathered in the corners, but they weren't falling. And above all that, all Dina really noticed was the fascination and astonishment they showed. Not fear or regret and no shame. Well not really. The images that started forming between them were of Arn beating her. Arn beating their mother. Other kids yelling 'bastard' after her and chasing her through mud. She was ashamed, yes. But she had no reason to be. None of it was her fault. All her memories were brave and honest and she had stayed true and strong through all of it.

"You're the Shamer's daughter." Rose whispered under her breath. And Dina expected her to look away. But she didn't. She looked right back, with the same fascination as had she been looking at the stars. She didn't know how she did it, but when Dina smiled at that small gesture of not looking away, something happened. It was like the opposite of what she had always done to people. Rose's shame slowly melted away, and Dina took it. She didn't deserve to feel that way, she shouldn't have to. She showed her the true Brave, determined and honest Rose that she really was and washed the guilt away. She showed her that Arn's abuse wasn't her fault. It was like Rose was opposing her at first - like her mind was insisting that she could have prevented it somehow, but finally Dina won. She took her shame away. The images dissolved and the alley and the basket returned. Rose didn't say anything, but she took Dina's hand.

*

Of course Rose needed more explaining and Dina did it as quickly and brief as she could. She told her everything with the only exception of Mr. Magnus and Nico's hiding place. She did believe that Rose would never voluntarily give up any of the information, but you never knew what could happen. When she was finally done, Rose didn't waste any time with pity or things like: 'how awful, I'm sorry that happened to you', she only nodded and picked up her end of the basket.

"Then we better hurry." Was all she said before they started walking again and this time even faster than before. And Dina knew that she was no longer alone. Dunark was clearly Rose's city and you could tell that she had lived there her whole life. With her as a guide, it took half as long to get to St Adela's church and the Widow's house.

"Come on." Dina said as she pushed open the gate in the fence and looked very carefully around them to see if there were any curious eyes. "Maybe she will even give us breakfast."

"Me too?" Rose asked a little doubting and surprised, but Dina only nodded and nudged her along. She knocked on the blue door and almost at once, they heard Petri's voice.

"Come on in!" And then the two freezing girls were standing in the warm kitchen with blue shelves and herbs everywhere. "Dina?" The Widow said with a tense and tired look on her face when she saw her. And she seemed even more surprised to find yet another girl standing beside her.

"Hello Madam Petri. This is my friend Rose." It felt nice to call her a friend and there wasn't a doubt in her mind about what they were to each other. She was about to continue, but suddenly stopped when she noticed someone else in the kitchen. He was smoking a pipe and Dina recognised him at once. It was the Weapons Master.

"About time, girl." He said. "We've been waiting for you."

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