Need [ dramione ]

Chapter 26

 9 January 1999 - Seven Days after the Full Moon

She never shows up in class. She never shows up anywhere, actually.

He wonders if she's even still in the school, but no, in his heart, he can sense her, can even feel her eyes on him. but he never sees her, can never find her...

The first full week of term, she's in none of their classes, skips every meal, and is never out running or in the library, or...

He has half a mind to charge up to Gryffindor Tower and demand entrance, to grab Longbottom in the hallway and ask where she is, but he knows that's pointless - Draco had been the only person she spoke to, the only one she connected with, and now, now that he has lost her...

It has to be more than the forgotten Wolfsbane Potion. He's already determined that - did it hurt? Yes, but she had done it before, and had even tried to skip her potion the month before. Was it the sex? Possibly. He assumed she had enjoyed it... and not without good reason. Is it too much too soon in their relationship, whatever it was? Maybe? But not really. They had been in this strange dance for months.

What he guesses... what he fears... is that the sex ruined everything by completing everything. It would make sense, after all. There are many powerful options for stabilizing a bond, and sex is one of them - one of the strongest, in fact, save for blood and life itself.

Had they inadvertently done something, confirmed something, solidified, who even knew anymore... had their joining caused some sort of spell or chaos? Did she know something he didn't know? Was she staying away for fear of what they could be, or for fear of what she could do to him?

He doesn't have the answer, doesn't have any answers, and he fears it, needs it...

What if she's gone because she...

No. He can't think like that. Can't process that. He has to stay positive. She's in the school, somewhere, not that he can figure out where, but he knows it, deep in his stomach. She's in the school, and he just has to find her.

The Saturday after term began, Draco woke up knowing he had to find her. He had spent all week frustrated, had spent every waking hour missing her, longing for her...

It's a contrast, a stark contrast, from his dreams. They're not real, not the connection like they had had before they had sex, and they were nothing like the actual sex, but he relives it in his dreams, in his memories, her tastes, her touch, her cries...

Over and over it plays in his head, confirming for him that they had been happy, that they had been together, that things had been good.

Every morning, he had woken up longing for her, and today, with no classes, he would find her.

He's up early for breakfast, and doesn't find her there. She isn't in the dungeons, isn't in the Astronomy Tower, isn't in the courtyard, she isn't in the infirmary... he considers going to Gryffindor Tower, but he refuses to explain himself just yet - he would search the rest of the school first.

A pity he doesn't have a map and warding spells so that he could mark off each room while he tracks her down.

His venture into the library is slow, for what reason, he has no valid idea. It's empty and quiet, too quiet for a Saturday, and every instinct tells him that he should look elsewhere, something deep down biting at him, whispering it, but he...

He knows how she loves the library, so he refuses to leave.

Up and down each stack, near each able, by the chairs, even deep within where they had once sat together, the study rooms... he searches it all, and finds nothing.