Starry Night

Fake smiles and panic

Savya stared at the mirror, taking a deep breath and looking at her open hair, wincing, because she knew what a mess it would be after the shoot. She was on Bingo Comedy Adda and she wasn't ready.

It was three days after the live and she already had plans to make a roast video but she didn't have any time yet, with the hate she was getting from the possessive toxic Armaalians and working on her book, and wasn't that a laugh, it was a hectic time.

And here she was, about to go and plaster a fake smile on her face, her hair thankfully hiding much of her face, dressed in a black shirt, blazer and jeans. Long sleeves, she reminded herself and tugged at those sleeves again. With the way she was doing it, they might end up falling off her shoulders or basically ruining the blazer but she couldn't help fidgeting.

A crew member gently tapped on her shoulder and she nodded, adjusting her glasses and walking out towards the stage.

The lights and sound overwhelmed her so much, she zoned out of the introduction Naved gave of her and just smiled and waved, sitting down as Naved did, after a brief handshake.

She crossed her legs and made sure to keep her spine straight, head held high and right fist tucked away neatly, if she clenched it, no one would see.

"So, Savya, however open you are on social media and your videos, you never open up about your personal information. Tell us something about yourself." She grinned automatically, relaying on her wit (and Tumblr quotes) to get her through,"Be more specific, Naved, what do you wanna know, my trauma or my favourite colour?"

Naved laughed and Savya threw a wink at one of the cameras, glad that she had denied any extra make-up. She didn't need fake eyelashes adding to her problems.

He shook his head,"Well, this is comedy adda, so, what's your favourite colour?" Savya thought for a second, she didn't want to reply a long answer to this simple question, she could already imagine how it would be all over instagram and twitter.

She nodded and smiled,"Blue." Because that was the colour Naved was wearing. Or at least everyone would think that. She wasn't about to open her heart out on TV.

And it wasn't like Savya didn't like blue, in fact, most of the days, she really loved blue. Just not the indigo he was wearing. No one needed to know.

Naved proceeded with questions, asking the same ones she'd already answered in every talk show she had been to. Finally he asked,"We see you interacting and talking with fans very much in your comments section. What are the best and weirdest things your fans have done?"

Savya ran a hand through her hair and bit her lip, trying to be polite and not say anything like her fans were the reason she was here or something equally sentimental.

"The best thing I remember is, one of my fans was this florist and I and Chee, my best friend, were out shopping and wanted some flowers, because, you know, aesthetic." Savya shrugged with a half smile and they played the laugh audio while Naved nodded, muttering,"Yes, very important."

"So, he like asked us what kind of flowers we want and then we said we had no clue and he made a bouquet of lilies and carnations because lilies mean humility, devotion and innocence restored after death and carnations mean love, admiration and good fortune. That was so sweet and my heart just about melted, because I like small gestures. Give me something and make me figure out it's symbol and why you gave it to me and I'll be happy."

She didn't mean to overshare. It just happened. It always does. Chee said it was because her subconscious was trying to control her anxiety and her trying to make sure the other party's impression of her was what she wanted. Basically, her brain trying to control her anxiety and her anxiety taking its revenge on her. Like always.

"Oh, wow, that's so nice. Did he charge you for that?"

"Oh, of course he did. Actually, he was like giving us discounts and saying that I helped him, indirectly, to accept that having anxiety is not his fault, and made him come terms with that, so Chee told him that I'd mope around if I was the reason of someone's loss and he reluctantly agreed to take the money."

Savya chuckled, realising her energy to socialize was getting lower and lower but Chee still managed to make her feel better. Naved laughed, too, but for reasons unknown to Savya.

"And what's the worst thing a fan has done to you?" "Not done to me, exactly. I actually have a lot of male fans along with female and transgender fans, even though females are majority," she had to give some context before she told anything. She didn't thing her admission would lead Naved to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively.

His smile widened,"Ah, are we going to hear about a fanboy turned boyfriend?" Savya laughed, even if it was a little strangled to her ears, and shook her head,"Nope. Anyways, so, one of the fanboys met me when I was going to meet Chee, like bringing her her lunch that she forgot, and there's this guy asking me for an autograph.

"I was okay with it and gave him a selfie but then he goes and shows me like a photo he had edited of me, and I was completely repulsed. Generally, I even post edits and aesthetics my fans make for me, encourage them. And yes, Wattpad, I know what you all are doing." She looked at the camera. She was glad there were no, say, rude, fics about her, but that didn't mean she couldn't tease her friends a little.

"So, like, I was completely repulsed and disgusted with that particular edit, and told him to never make those kind of edits again, and no, it wasn't inappropriate towards myself but others, but I still disliked it and tried to make him understand to never do it. He promised not to."

Naved nodded with a clap,"I'm very impressed, with how you dealt with it."

Savya nodded, her fist clenching before she took a sip of water in that atrocious mug on the table.

Then, shit went wrong. The rapid fire round or word association.

"Music." "Heaven." Her reply was instantaneous, given how Naved nodded approvingly. "Shuchi." "Family."

"Shushant." Savya chuckled and a small genuine smile rested on her face. "He's like a decade older than me but he's my baby. So, yeah, baby."

"BTS." "That's very hard, actually. So, I'll go with the next best, ARMY."

Naved chuckled,"Okay, answer the following, quick and short." Savya nodded, very aware that after this, she could take off again. Maybe with a formality selfie or something.

"We saw the live you did with Doctor Bhargav, so, what do you think of the Mallik brothers?" Savya's jaw clenched for a second before she pasted a smile on her face, this wasn't in the script they'd given her earlier that week.

"I would say that both of them will take Indian music to an international level, already have, if I've got my facts right. They're doing very good work and to be honest, they could take over the Indian music industry and I will cheer them."

Naved nodded towards his placards with a smile and turned back towards Savya,"Fans want a dream collaboration of you and Bhuvan Bam, any news of that?"

Savya hid her supposed chuckle behind her hand and struggled to remain calm and blessed BTS again, having the same questions repeated to you several times was rather irritating. "As soon as he comes here for Rakhi, we'll talk. But, guys, no shipping or I'll revoke your live privileges." She waved a stern hand towards the camera with a strict look.

She'd seen the shippers even after she called him Bhai publically.

"We've heard your friend, Shuchi Bhargav is interested in Amaal Mallik, any feelings on that?"

"Doctor Bhargav." Savya corrected instantly,"And I know you're talking about the live, but I'll have to ask you to leave her personal life alone after I say that whatever it was in the live was friendly teasing and nothing more." Her voice was firm, but she was happy it didn't leak out any anger and guilt she was feeling.

The shooting ended soon after, ready to be broadcasted the next day and Savya left, without a selfie whatsoever. Those questions weren't in the script and she needed to warn Chee about it.

She put Achilles Come Down on loop and drove straight to the Aryaa hospital where Chee worked.