ms mysteria | a. turner

five

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead?

heartbreak is supposed to make you stronger.

it's supposed to teach you a life lesson. one that can help you become a better version of yourself.

it's an admirable thing, really. to be able to overcome something so life changing.
but it also takes a lot of hard work and time, that no one really pays attention to.

people from the outside, see what you were like before your heart was crushed, and afterward.

but what they don't see, is how you've  dealt with it.

they don't see how long it takes; how many tears you shed, or how many times you've revisited those moments in your mind to try and recalculate where it all went wrong.

and even after you've told people and most of all, yourself that you're okay, there will still be a part of you, deep down, that is absolutely broken inside.

many people become stronger after their heart shatters into a million pieces. but even if they do manage to reorder those pieces, they can never seem to actually be glued back together.

therefore, once your heart has broken, and you make so much as a sudden move to even prod or jump around what you've rebuilt, it will start to shake, and shake and shake...

until it all crumbles anew.

and the pain crawls back, seeping through the cracks of your already splintered heart, and tearing you down once again.

~

matt didn't know when or how it all started. he didn't know if valerie and chris were just drunk and they slept together, or whether it had been happening for a month? two months? a year? their entire relationship?

he didn't know where it all went wrong, either. had he done something wrong to make her cheat? had he been a bad friend to chris and so the latter got back at him? had he not shown her enough love?

he was at a loss, and nothing seemed to make sense to him.

and so, he spent the rest of his saturday night venting and pouring his heart out to alex. the only ambition he had was to ease any pain that his heart had endured that night, and he achieved that by falling asleep.

with this small act of finally finding peace for less than ten hours, however, he soon realised that the excruciating pain of getting his heartbroken wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

that thought alone, was all too much for him to handle.

~

when sunday morning rolled around, matt just seemed...lost. he had told alex he needed some time alone, and so left alex's house as soon as possible. alex felt slightly guilty at the thought of leaving his best friend alone at a time like this, but seeing as how all matt wanted right now was to be alone, he was reluctantly okay with it.

and that repeated reassurance, was enough for him to stay put.

nevertheless, all of the tears matt had cried, were now replaced with a pit of anger that needed to be filled with a satisfying need for revenge.