for you

chapter 2

Alex

I dont know how to feel
I mean i feel empty but not
I feel hungry but not
I have friends but i dont
I honestly when u became such i screwed up, i remeber like it was yesterday, when i skipped my first meal, when i thought of my death for the first time. I really don't remember when shit went downhills.. after my mother's death my father turned into an asshole who didn't even pay attention to me, unless he wanted us to fight. Our fights rarely had physical contact and when they did it was just a slap.. but the words hurt more than the beating beac i until this day believe every insult my father ever told me.
Fat

Ugly

Slut

You were a mistake

Disappointment

I wish it was you and not your mother

Why don't you do all of us a favor and die?

And many more that are too hurt-full to recall.

Now on my way for collage i have only 15 minutes left of privacy, of being able to be alone...now that i think about it,it isn't too late to take a U turn and got to hell

No you will go you are going yo prove dad wrong

I wish

I arrived at the collage and it was FULL with people moving in to dorms, i went and asked about my dorm key and ...i have a roomate fuck me

I made my way there knocked the door and came in, when i walked in i saw a brunette dancing with her airpods in i tap her shoulder and she jumps

"Uh? Sorry for startling you but i just wanted to let you know that i am your roomate" i offered her a warm smile

"Ohh yeah i heard i had a roomate, damn girl you are pretty, do you want to go grab a coffee to get to know each other?"

"Yeah cool let's go after i finish unpacking"

I started unpacking, the first thing i wanted to organized were my books, i love books, they are the love of my life really, give me a mass murderer who is in love with me and i'll be a happy woman, or a boy who hates everyone but me ugh, i then put my clothes to my closet and done

"Okey i am ready let's go" i said

She nodded and we took my car while she told me where to go beac obviously i had no fucking idea. We made our way to the small caffee, it was cute sat down and started talking

I learned that her name was Hannah, she played guitar and she was also with a scholarship, her favourite colour is green and she is pan

I told her a little about me that i was raised at a small town 2 hours ago that my favourite colour was dark red and i was in fact bi, although pan and bi are very different i was happy to know that my roomate wasn't homophobic and she was part of LGBTQ+

"So there's a party tommorow night for freshmen do you want to go with me?"

"Fuck yeah it's been a while since i was wasted" and it's true it's been a while 1 fucking day.. but hey we don't say that do we?

I wasn't an alcoholic but with my recent turn of events i did turn to alcohol for relief but i was not addicted so i was good, thank god i knew how to control it and I wasn't an addict like my dad, although alcohol addition is in our blood i was lucky not to have it at least yet.

We talked a little more but our conversation was cut short when we heard the bell of the coffee which signaled that someone came in.

And what caught me off guard was that i was manthos with a sexy looking guy..screw me when his eyes met mine he headed our way.

"Can i talk to you?" Manthos asked

I nodded and followed him when we got outside the coffee the uncomfortable silence drove me to the edge so i decided to be the first one to talk.

"Soo.. you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah.. i don't know if you remember but i drove you home yesterday after i found you on the end of a cliff, i just wanted to make sure you are fine"
He seemed worried why he doesn't even know me

"I am fine"

"Then why did it seem like you were 'bout  to jump and you didn't cause i stopped you"

"What i do is none of your business although i am thankful for your concern and the fact that you took me home i will not talk to you about this kind of stuff"

And then left but 3 steps away he grabbed my hand, i shot him a death glare

"What now?"

"If you need to talk i am here and if your problem is that we don't know each other then fine, hey my name is Manthos Kongfit i am 19 years old i go to the music collage nearby and i have no sibling "

"Fine, my name is alex black, i am collage student freshmen with a full scholarship to the music collage nearby, i guess we go to the same one"