Romanoff's girl

.....

Rose's POV

The roof I thought to myself once more. That was it, I would meet mom again and won't have to deal with grief and those shit I m into right now. I m being a fucking coward I know but I see no way out or at least no other non-painful one. I spend the rest of the day locked in my room and wait till 3am so that no one is awake. I slowly open the door and make my way to the roof being extra careful not to wake anyone in the tower. And this is it, I m greeted by the view of the city lights under my feet. I get closer to the edge. Ok Rose c'mon you can do this, I praised myself closing my eyes and muttering "I'm sorry mom" when I hear the sound of the door opening and I immediately turn to identify the person, Peter Parker.
"Please don't do this Rose"
"Oh shut up Parker you don't even know me"
"I may not that well but I know that suicide isn't the way out"
"What do you know about what I'm going through anyway uh? Just get back inside please"
"I m afraid I won't. U jump I jump sorry.."
"What do u think that this is the fucking Titanic or some shit?!"
"No but I can't let you die Rose..."
"Why? Why would you even care? Cause we ve been classmates for what a week or cause we kissed in a stupid truth or dare game uh?"
"Cause I like you"
"What?"
"I ve had a crush on you ever since I first saw you but I never got the courage to actually say it but the thought of loosing u is just frightening. I erm I know th-that I m weird and y-you are out of my league but I h-had to say it even if it makes no difference at all"
I couldn't believe he actually admitted he likes me, ofc I like him too but that was old me. Now after this i m in no position to love or trust someone. The moment she died I felt something crack in me and that I d never be old Rosie. Now standing up here looking over at Peter and the view I realize that I won't kill myself. No, that is for cowards and I m no such thing. I m going to live and become just like mom,a cold trained killer. I ll shut down every emotion which will result in not feeling any pain too. I ll train and train and be the most badass female who ever walked on earth. I want people to fear me and don't come close cause if they do they ll unlock my demons that I wanna keep buried. That's it no more Rosie, it's Romanoff now and Romanoff's don't do pain.