Romanoff's girl

New life vol. 21

*Nat's POV*

After what seemed like over an hour of waiting Rose finally opened the door,waking me up. She silently made her way to her room,her face wearing an angry expression, though I feel like she is using it to hide the fact that she had been crying. As I sensed her unease, she suddenly spoke up.

"Mom,I want to go to the Red Room and there is nothing you can do to prevent me. I deserve the chance at excellence." Rose said, her eyes alight with determination.

A chill ran down my spine at the mention of the Red Room again. Memories I had buried deep threatened to resurface. "Rose, you can't be serious. The Red Room is not a place to seek strength. It's a dark chapter in my life, one that I never want you to experience."

She looked at me, a mixture of frustration and defiance in her eyes. "You've always shielded me from the truth, Mom. I need to make my own choices. I want to be as strong as you, and I think the Red Room can help me achieve that. It has to"

My voice, laced with urgency, pleaded with her. "Rose, you don't understand. The Red Room isn't about strength; it's about breaking people. The training is brutal, the manipulation is relentless. It nearly destroyed me."

She crossed her arms, a stubborn resolve in her stance. "You made it through, didn't you? You became the Black Widow. I can handle it."she replies raising an eyebrow at me. If only I hadn't passed my stubbornness onto her.

I felt a knot tighten in my chest, wanting to protect my daughter. "Rose, the path I took wasn't one I would wish upon anyone. I was forced to go there, stolen from my mother when I was just an infant. There are other ways to find strength, ways that don't involve the darkness of the Red Room."

She stood up, pacing the room, frustration evident in her movements. "You never let me do anything. You keep me here like I'm fragile. I need to prove myself, and the Red Room is the way to do it."

A wave of memories flashed before my eyes – the grueling training, the psychological manipulation, the loneliness,the final ceremony...I couldn't bear the thought of Rose enduring the same pain. "Rose, you're not fragile. I keep you safe because I love you. The Red Room doesn't make you strong; it breaks you. I won't let you go down that path."

She turned to face me, anger burning in her eyes. "You don't get it, Mom. You've always been a hero, but I need to find my own way. If you won't support me, I'll find someone who will."
"So that's what this is about?"I finally connect the pieces of the puzzle "You think you are not important?"
"How can I be anyone mom? I've been living in your and everyone else's shadow. I don't have superpowers or a super-soldier serum or am a genius billionaire like the rest of y'all do what is left huh? Just the Room. Nothing else if I want to become a hero."she blurts out still frowning, avoiding eye contact
"Look at me" i instruct and when she doesn't oblige I gently cup her cheek to make her look up,which she does, her pale blue eyes piercing mine. "What?"she scoofs once again
"Listen to me, you have to understand the Red Room didn't turn me into the hero you see me as. It turned me into a monster, stripping me off my identity and basically making me a killing machine with no compassion or any human feelings. It is because of my escape and a long period of trying to discover myself and slowly start to develop feelings that I am the person you've come to know. My file is dripping with blood, the red on my ledger is so much that even if I lived a thousand lives I still wouldn't be able to wipe it off. And that is a burden I ve been carrying ever since I got my consciousness and will follow me to the grave. I 've tried to take my own life many times in the past, stopping at the very edge. Until you came along as a redemption and gave me a sense of purpose, to be your mother which is for the most part the main reason I am alive. But I can't say that I am not haunted by my past, which is exactly why I so desperately try to shield you from this, and I ve been doing so ever since you were born." I continued in an attempt to help her understand what that place does to people.
"You are just saying that because you think I'm weak. I'm not you know and I certainly don't need your protection"
"Oh Rosie...this is your adolescence speaking,and stubbornness,but see that is exactly one of the qualities you have that could never make you weak! And that is the first thing the Room will try to rip you off. They don't want strong-willed individuals they need pawns they can control.Of course I think you are strong and it's not because I don't that I protect you, it is because I ve seen how ugly this world really is and what it wants to do to strong people like you. I was chosen to be stolen by my mother for exactly the same reason you know, because I was strong. And so are you. We can train as much as you like, I can teach you anything you want to learn but I need you to know that you don't have to prove yourself to anyone love,not me,not the Avengers not anyone. You have to be your own person and in order to do that u'll need to figure out what you want not what u think others want you to become. And I'll be there to back you up every step of the way. You know that" I finish, searching her face for a reaction.
"I know... I'm sorry about what I said"
"No, you don't have to apologise I get where that came from and it was a rational thought especially since I've explicitly avoided to talk to you in detail about that dark place. From now on I'll try to be more open with you about the earliest part of my life. Deal?" I prompt and she nods
"Deal"
"Soo what you say we hit that gun range? Ever wanted to shoot an AK-47?" I inquire smirking and watch as her face lights up in enthusiasm at the mention of the firearm. Yep definitely my daughter.
"Wooah you'll show me how to shoot with that?"she asks pumped.
"Sure I will" I reply and she immediately throws herself in my arms,nearly suffocating me in a hug
"I love you Mama"
"I love you too Rose" "Come on let's go"...