One Shots

Hazbin Hotel (medeivle AU)

My horse gallops down the road alongside my companion's at top speed. I risk a glance over my shoulder. There is no sight of the thieves.

"Are they still on our tails?"

Isabella asks. I shake my head.

"No, my friend. It seems we hath lost them at long last."

My friend runs her gauntlet clad fingers through her long, strawberry blonde hair and huffs out a heavy sigh of relief. She  flinches as her hair gets caught in the armor.

"About bloody time! I thought we would end up running our horses to the ground before we lost them."

I laughed. "You have so little faith in your horses, Isabella."

She shrugs. "We have been riding nonstop for bloody hours, Angelus. You cannot blame me for worrying."

This time, I am the one who shrugs. "I suppose thou art correct."

We ease up on the reigns so that the horses slow down. I speak up once again. "Regardless of what happened, it was great fun. Although, I still can't believe we missed the few scouts and let ourselves be ambushed."

Isabella glares at the ground and shakes her head. "We would not have needed to go at all if the bloody, thickheaded, fopdoodles would just use the black market like the rest of us! They think they are above us, but they are nothing more than churls!"

I place my hand on her shoulder. "Relax. You will end up with a mole or something."

Isabella looks at me as though I hath grown a second head.

"What?"

I shrug. "Just ignore me. I am merely uttering nonsense at this point."

My friend shrugs and proceeds to ride forward. Mine horse and I follow.

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After another hour, we arrive at our village. Thank the gods that we arrived with plenty of time for me to go to work. Valentine would have me executed if I were late.

"Made it! Looks like you will get to see the light of day after all, Angelus." I nod with a sigh.

"Yes. It seems so..."

Isabella rubs my back. "You know I would gladly take my sword to his throat."

I shake my head. We have discussed this. "You could. But he is a lord. And one with great influence. He would surely be missed and many a person would go to great lengths to find out who is responsible. You would most likely be hanged, beheaded, or burned. I cannot have that. I do not want that. What is my life without you? My father is a drunken bastard and Author is powerless too. He often saves my arse, and is often given extra chores. So I hardly see him. And Minevera is forbidden by father to interact with us. She sneaks into our rooms to comfort us and talk to us as often as possible, but that is a rare occurrence." We arrive at the my cottage and I get off my horse. Well, it does not belong to me per se, but to Isabella's family. She's a knight. One of the only females in the kingdom to be knighted. So to most it is, "Dame Isabella". But she allows me to be casual with her. The same goes for her lover, Sir Pentious. He allows me to just call him Pentious. They are quite the power couple. I hand Isabella the reigns and she takes them.

"Maybe when your father finally turns over the perch you and your siblings can live with us."

I sigh. "That would be brilliant. But until then..." I shrug once more. "I am unfortunately stuck with him. Anyway, I should go. You as well. Your father is much kinder than my own, but you still have a reputation to uphold. We can go to the tavern later if we have time. What say you?"

Isabella smiles and nods. "I would be delighted to! I will be seeing you then. Off with you before something happens."

I nod and hurry inside. As I close the door, I hear my woman friend ride off with her horses.

"Where have you been all morning, boy?!!" An angry growl erupts from the kitchen. Great. My father woke before I could come home. Now I need to come up with an excuse. A damn good one at that. I sm not allowed to help Arthur with his chores because, "he needs to learn to be a man. That, and mind his damn business." So, because I cause enough trouble for him as it is, I stay out of his way.

"I was doing work for Dame Isabella, sir." Not a lie. Isabella did ask that I accompany her. Let us hope that he does not ask for details. He does not. Thankfully. He just nods and tells me to be out of here within the hour. I nod and thank him before I run to my sleeping space to get ready. I start with a cold bath. I haven't the time to heat it. After that, I get dressed.

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I first put on my undergarments. I always wonder how women stand it. I've been wearing these things for years, but I have yet to get used to it. It is comfortable, but not at the same time. Several more layers of clothing later, including my favorite, the corset, I am ready to do my makeup. I start with my powder. Isabella said it was made of lead. I do not know what is special about that, but she said it was expensive. So was all my makeup, according to her. Next is the lipstick. I apply a sexy shade of red. After that, I put in my belladonna drops. They dilate my eyes and make the men go mad. Lastly, I do my hair. I let it grow out long for the sake of making this easier. As a man, I keep it tied back. But as a woman, I have all sorts of fun with it. Today I go with a simple braid draped over my shoulder.

It is more practical this way since it is easier to fix after... A fun time. I look at the clock in the corner. I have finished with plenty of time to spare. Well, 5 minutes away. More time than usual. I leave the house and go to see Author, who would be going inside to eat lunch. He is sweaty, but I hug him anyway. He hugs back.

"I am sorry you have to do this, 'sister'. I wish father would see reason."

I shake my head and speak up in my most feminine voice. Not too hard since my voice is already soft and somewhat high.

"I do not mind the work at all. I quite enjoy it, actually.''

Arthur shakes his head with a knowing smirk. He and Minevera are the only two besides Isabella and Pentious who know my secret. Everyone else is none the wiser. Except for the faceless and nameless men who share the same secret. But they don't count.

"In that case, have fun. Minevera will be pleased to know you enjoy it."

Ah. That's right. They know I have an interest in men, but they didn't know I actually enjoyed my work. I need to remember to keep them informed.

"She will? And you are too? I thought you would be ashamed. Tis scandalous, after all."

Arthur just shrugs. "If you have to do it because you were told to, you may as well enjoy it. I don't like that you have to, but if you have even the slightest amount of joy, I want you to be able to hold on to it. I love you. You and Minevera both." He gives my forehead a kiss.
"See you when you return."

We hug again and I take my leave.

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This is supposed to be a oneshot, but this will at least have a part 2. If all goes well, I'll try writing a full on fanfiction.

fopdoodles: Basically dumbasses

Churls: derogatory term for poor people. A huge insult to rich people. Isabella, this story's Cherri Bomb, said that directed at the thieves. She meant no harm to Angelus and he knows that.