One Shots

Brush Your Damn Teeth!

It all started this morning when I greeted my dear Angel Dust good morning. He looked at me with a scrunched up nose and all but gagged.

"Dude- I love ya, but ya gotta take care of dat god awful stench. No kisses till ya do!"

He walks away after giving me a quick hug.

"It's not that bad, I assure you." I scoff and walk away. I head to the cafeteria of the hotel and get some breakfast. Normally I'd cook, but it's my day off.

"Good morning, Al!"

Charlie greeted me cheerfully.

"Good morning, my dear. And how are you?"

Her expression goes from cheerful to just barely concealed disgust.

"Oh- Um, Al? Not trying to be rude, buuuut... When was the last time you brushed your teeth?"

"Come again?"

"Oh! Um- Nevermind! It's none of my business anyway... See you later-"

She leaves in a hurry. I shrug it off and carry on with my day.

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"Ok, Alastor. I can smell your breath from the other end of the bar. You need to brush your fucking teeth. Pronto!"

Husk points his claw in a random direction away from the bar.

"Get outta here before I puke in your drink!"

I look at him with an angry smile before going to my room to look for a toothbrush and toothpaste.

I didn't find one. So I told Charlie I was going to go home and look for some there. She very hastily let me go.

When I didn't find anything at home, I decided to go buy some.

Where on earth would I find such things? I have no idea, so I call Angel. I hate the use of the cellular telephone, but I can't argue with it's usefulness.

"Yeah, Smiles?"

"Hello, my dear. Would you mind telling me where I would even find toothpaste and a toothbrush?"

"What, dey need replacing?"

"Erm- no..."

"Don't tell me..."

I nod, then say yes when I remember he can't see.

He starts laughing.

I wait for him to stop.

After a solid minute of laughter, he finally answers me.

Now, here I am, an hour after the trip to the store, scrubbing my teeth for the first time in.... A long time. Anthony told me I should probably get mouthwash for good measure, so I did.

I rinse, spit, then rinse again before coming out of the bathroom where Angel is waiting for me.

"May I have my kids now, darling?"

He chuckles and places his finger beneath my chin so he can tilt my head up to make it easier to reach when he leans down to kiss me.

"Mmm.~ Minty fresh."

We both chuckle before he leans back down to share another kiss with me, this one lasting longer.

"I love you. Try not ta keep me waitin' so long next time, k babe?"

"You want there to be a next time?"

"Hell no. You know what I meant. Now let's get ready. I promise Charlie I'd help out and I'm sure you have dings ta do too."

With that, we go back to our daily schedule.

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This oneshot was brought to you by the conversation in the picture above.

For those who don't want to look to avoid prying, Bambi sent a picture of Alastor redesign bingo and it had a tube of toothpaste on it.

She said, "That tube of toothpaste, I can't-"

And I said, "Your teeth are fucking yellow, time to brush them!"

And yeah. Oneshot was born.