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The trip back to the Dauntless compound had been uneventful and, most of all, silent. Eric had guided Lilith to where the Erudite had parked their cars, in front of the houses they had set up their control stations in, and he'd revealed the key he'd swiped earlier with a flourish. It was painfully obvious that he was expecting some sort of reaction from Lilith, but she'd only given him a blank stare as she waited for him to unlock the vehicle. Much to her surprise, none of the soldiers that were awake seemed suspicious of the fact that they were leaving, probably being under the impression that they had specific orders from Jeanine. Even after that, she'd kept her grip on her pistol, staring out the window as they drove through the city.
Her thoughts returned to Siobhan, and the way she'd been killed. She hadn't been the one pulling the trigger, but she still blamed herself for the end of her friend's life. Perhaps if she hadn't tried to talk to her, she would have had enough time to knock her out, or at least restrain her, before Eric found them. The longer she thought of her friend, the more tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. Siobhan had been the first person to try to make her feel at home in a completely new faction, and it was because of her that she'd made so many friends during Initiation. She'd made so many people happy and, just when she'd been able to set her own future in motion, everything had been ripped away from her, like she didn't matter. Like she was disposable.
To Erudite, she probably was.
They all were.
"If it makes any difference, I didn't notice it was her until after I took the shot," Eric finally broke the silence, when they were minutes away from the compound.
Lilith didn't give him any sign that she'd acknowledged his words, simply closing her eyes to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. It didn't make any difference. It could have been someone that Lilith had never spoken to before, and she would still feel the same way. It would still be a person giving up their life unwillingly, unknowingly. It would still be someone dying for a cause that they hadn't chosen to support. Worst part was, it wasn't even their war to fight, and they were still the ones getting killed off instead of Erudite. The unfairness of the whole situation made her want to scream.
Eric turned the car into a dark alley, a few blocks away from the compound, and Lilith realized that they'd probably have to go the rest of the way by foot. There was no way the building had been left unprotected, with the simulation controls and Jeanine herself inside, and they had a higher chance of succeeding if the guards didn't see them coming. As soon as the engine stopped rumbling, Lilith pushed the door open and stepped out of the car, taking a breath of fresh air as she walked to entrance of the alley. She glanced around the area, making sure that there weren't any Dauntless soldiers in sight, and Eric soon moved past her without a word.
As they started making their way to the compound, Lilith found herself unable to hold back the questions plaguing her mind, "Why did you agree to all of this? What did Jeanine say she'd give you?"
