Unheard Voice and Unexpressed Feelings [2012-2016]

I never change

That moment when I found out that someone considered me as the only person she knows in her entire life who didn't change from the way I dress and the way I look (from being a teenager to an adult). I dunno if I should be happy or not. Ahahaha!

Most of the people in my neighborhood know me as the very simple lass who doesn't like wearing short shorts and revealing clothes despite how sexy I am! I always have this perception that my sister is prettier than me and I could sometimes think if we really are siblings. We don't have any similarities in physical features. I have small eyes, she has big ones. She has nice lips, I have a big (protruded) one. I have brown skin, she has a fair complexion. It's like she has a Western beauty while I look like Chinese (or Vietnamese just like my previous boss said). See? I always think I'm ugly! An unattractive human being. A sexy ugly duckling! I'm like a shrimp which you would eagerly eat my body and throw my head away, get rid of my face completely. Ahahaha!

However, there are these three siblings who strongly believe that I'm prettier than my sister. The guy would willingly say that I'm sexy. Gosh! They just made my self-esteem boost. It's pleasing to know that they find me beautiful inside and out. All this time I look down and underestimated myself. It came to a point that I get scared of meeting new people and be in a crowd full of strangers. I hate being in a crowd! My parents think I'm crazy but my mother knows the reason all along and that's I'm ugly. I can't stand seeing people's judging eyes!

Bottom line: I'm not that ugly as I thought. Ahahaha! I used to think I'm the ugliest girl in the world!

Yuchae Moon
May 26, 2016