Who Am I Anymore?

Who I used to be.

It's been years since I was truly happy. I've laughed and smiled occasionally but it was never a feeling that lasted more then a day.

Little insight for ya: my whole life I was never enough, I always had to prove myself to someone (whether it was my parents, teachers, coaches, teammates, siblings, cousins), in 6th and 7th grade I was abused by my ex, then 7th he tried to force himself on me. 7th and 8th Momma and Daddy were in and out of the hospital for various health concerns. Freshman year I was in a shitty one sided relationship were I was only used for sex, my sister got married to a piece of shit, and my brother had the first of the new generation in the family. (I love my nephew so much.) Junior year I started working and my grades tanked. It's now two weeks before summer break starts and life is getting wild once again. Now that you're caught up on my fucked up life let's start here:

It's May 6th, my best friend's 18th birthday, I'm driving less than 3 miles to her aunt's house. I pulled in the empty drive way, her aunt and uncle are at work, it's just Kiara and her sister Jesse. I turned off my old 1984 F150 and saw Kiara standing there with garbage bags of her things. Her long blonde hair was half up half down, she wore a knee length pastel blue sun dress that looked really good on her small figure, and gray ankle high converse. Her blue-green eyes were full of tears.

"I'm so glad I can live with you now," she ran up and hugged me tight.

"Me too. It's ok gorgeous," I hugged her tight. Kiara's aunt, Karen, was needless to say a bitch. She only took Kiara and Jesse in cause she had no choice. Their mom was a drug whore, who has 10 kids none of which she raised, and they didn't know who Jesse's dad was and Kiara's dad was dead. Karen flipped out when Kiara started dating her boyfriend, Aris, two years ago because he's Honduran. Kiara wasn't aloud to hang out with friends, leave the house, she didn't have a cell phone till sophomore year and that was only because Aris bought it and paid the bill.

"Karen this morning said if I left today I can never come back. I told her I'd never want too," Kiara dried her tears.

"Well you don't have to," I smiled and picked up two bags and set them in the bed of my truck. Both of us had missed school today just for this, it was Friday anyway. We both walked in the house past the kitchen and straight to the shared room of Kiara and Jesse.

"She's not gonna be happy bout this," Jesse said sitting on her bed looking very annoyed. She missed school today to say goodbye.

"Shut up, Jesse. If you tell Karen where I'm goin I swear I'll come in and beat you in your sleep," Kiara growled.

Jesse isn't exactly my biggest fan. She thinks I lied about being abused and raped because she's now dating the dick who did it to me. Fucker was charming then and still is. Kiara and I have tried to warn her and she refuses to listen.

"Let's just grab the rest of your shit and get the fuck outta dodge," I smirked and Kiara laughed, Jesse glared at me with a pissed look.

We loaded up the rest of her things, which wasn't much, and climbed in the cab of the black truck.

Kiara had left her car at my house a couple nights before and told her aunt and uncle it needed work so she left it at a shop. They thought that meant she couldn't leave on her birthday. I honestly had thought this out way to much over the past few years.

"Me and Aris have been fighting," Kiara whimpered.

"About?" I said unsurprised. I'm not a big fan of Aris, mostly we just can't seem to get along but also because he knows Kiara is bisexual and has had a crush on me since 4th grade.

"He doesn't want me moving in with you. I love both of you and after what you told me last year, I don't know if I can stay with him," Kiara said upset.