isabella [h.s.]

forty three

**when december comes i bet you want to
wrap me all up and take me home with you**

ISABELLA

I don't say anything for a while, each and every word from my vocabulary seeming to evade me as I stare back at Harry in the darkness, already feeling my heart beginning to race inside my chest. Despite the fact that I seem unable to grasp any form of language, Harry's words continue to echo around in my head over and over again, a constant loop where every repeat of it knocks a little more breath out of me.

I know that I'm falling for you. I know that I'm falling for you. I know that I'm falling for you.

Could it be true? Could it even be possible? I'm a confident person, I'm self-assured and I know my strengths, my assets. But I also know my weaknesses, my flaws. In the past I've been called over-confident, had my confidence conflated with arrogance, and to be honest, I never usually care. But, even as cliché and pathetic as it sounds, everyone has insecurities, everyone has deep-seated fears that creep out from the dark corners of their mind when they're laying awake in bed at night. And one of mine, as much as I hate to admit it, is the age-old question of: could anyone ever love me? Am I even loveable? The only people I've ever loved in this world abandoned me, and the people who were supposed to love me clearly didn't. So am I capable of love? Is anyone capable of loving me?

"Stop it," Harry suddenly murmurs, snapping me out of my thoughts. I glance back at him just as he reaches out to smooth his thumbs along my forehead, tracing the skin just above my eyebrows. "I can practically see you overthinking everything I just said in that little head of yours. So stop it, because I meant every word."

My lips arch into a smile, admittedly amused by the fact that he knows me so well. I've never had someone who is able to see me so clearly already, and is still willing to stick around to discover more. "I..." I exhale deeply, shakily, feeling my chest constrict with the effort. Part of me is cowering away in embarrassment for revealing my feelings so openly like this, but I manage to push my pride away to admit: "I'm falling for you too. I think I have been for a while now."

I feel Harry's warm hand slide down my face until he's cupping my cheek, using his gentle grip to pull me closer. "You think?" he teases with a soft smile.

I roll my eyes playfully, both at him and at the saccharine scene we've found ourselves in, the type I'd usually cringe at if I was reading it in a book or watching a film. But despite that, I'm still unable to stop my smile from widening even more as I correct myself in a whisper, "I know."

He hums quietly, "That's what I like to hear," he murmurs, making me laugh once more before he presses his lips to mine.

——————

HARRY

I remain on the air mattress with Isabella until the early morning, when I tell her in a whisper that I'm heading upstairs to shower, and that I should probably make it look like I slept upstairs so my mum doesn't start freaking out. To be honest, I don't think Isabella really listens to a word, just mumbling sleepily while I lean down to kiss the crown of her head, which she allows before she rolls over and snuggles further under the duvet. I smile at the sight before pulling myself off the mattress and quietly slipping out of the living room, heading upstairs to take a shower.