Idk

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by fiddler-sticks

by fiddler-sticks

Um, yea. So I'm just gonna use this for ranting purposes.

So this was when I was in 5th grade. I had VERY EXTREME anxiety, and basically wouldn't talk to anyone except my close friends and family, I wouldn't touch anyone, and most importantly, I wouldn't ask questions in class, which led to me falling behind.

So I started out with just one counselor, and I really liked her. She, my dad, and my 3rd grade teacher had similar personalities, and I loved that type of person (and still do).But she's not the one I wanna talk about.

For some reason, my parents felt like I needed another counselor, and so they took me to see the one at the public school (I went to a private Christian school at the time). And this lady. At first she was nice-ish. But then she just kept getting more and more mean, and making me do things a 11yo kid with major anxiety would never cope with. Like walking from one end of the school where the main office was, to the other end where her office was, all by myself. And this school was not easy to navigate. The lady even told me that SHE had gotten lost a few times! The first few times I did it, I wanted to just collapse in the hallway and cry my heart out.

There was more, but this was all years ago, and I've tried my best to forget it all.

When I had had a certain amount of sessions, she met with my parents. What they told me when they got home was that she wanted to put me on all sorts of drugs to make my brain wonky, and she also thought that, because I wasn't talking to her and cooperating, I was being defiant, and I was just a bad kid trying to trick my parents.

I WAS FRICKIN' 11 AND HAD HAD MULTIPLE BAD EXPERIENCES WITH PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU, AND I WASN'T COOPERATING BECAUSE I SAW THE RESEMBLANCE AND DIDN'T WANT MORE TRAUMA!! AND YOU THINK I WAS JUST BEING DEFIANT?!?! I HAD ONE OF THE WORST CASES OF ANXIETY THE OTHER COUNSELOR HAD EVER SEEN!!!!

Anyway, I continued seeing the other counselor, and got much better, thank goodness :)

I still have anxiety, but it's not as bad as it was then.