Spiralling -Natasha x Wanda x Fem reader-

Letting go

⚠️Suicide attempt⚠️

"You ungratefull bitch!" belt hit number one. "How do you dare coming home late!" belt hit number two. "You are a waste of space in this house!" belt hit number three. I couldn't take it anymore. My legs gave in and I collapsed on the cold hard floor. "GET UP you piece of shit!" a violent kick in my ribs and I collapsed once more. Miss Dorothea pulled my hair lifting me to my feet and then throwing me at the wall as if I were nothing. I am nothing, I learned that a long time ago, but being treated like nothing and being told you are nothing always hurts. 'Please let her be done soon so I can go...' All I could think of was how to get out of this 'home' as quickly as possible. 

"Go to your room! Don't let me see you again today. You are on breakfast duty tomorrow. Try not to poison us will you." I was about to leave the room when miss Dorothea stopped me. "Remind me again child. Who are you?" "Nobody..." I whispered as quietly as possible. "Speak up!" "Nobody" "That's right. You are a nobody. A waste. A disgrace. Now go to your room." She laughed as I limped out of the main room towards the stairs leading upstairs to my room. That awfull laugh, how I am not going to miss that when I finally leave all these feelings behind me and get my peace. One more night and I'll finally be able to let go. 

-Beep beep beep- God how much I hate this sound. Mornings are my worst enemy. Not because am a terrible morning person but because it means a new day full of torture and being a nobody has started. This morning is different though. Tonight the pain will end once and for all. From being a nobody to simple not existing doesn't sound so bad to me. I got out of bed and silently walked downstairs to fix breakfast for miss Dorothea and the other kids.

As I was working on breakfast I heard the house wake up so I quickly finished and went back upstairs. Eating wasn't a priority. Not that I needed it anyway, esppecially today. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a hoodie and black ripped jeans. I took my bra from the chair on the other side of the room and chose some basic underwear. I undressed and pulled of the bandage wrapped around my left arm. I looked at both the healed and fresh cuts from last night an wrapped a new bandage around my arm. I took some honey ointment and smeared it over the bruises and wounds on my legs and ribs. I winced at the pressure on my ribs. "Definitely bruised" I sighed and put on the clothes I had picked put. I put on make-up to hide the bruises in my face. Not that anyone was going to notice but oh well. 

When I finished doing my make-up I put my hair up in a high pony tail and stuffed my bag with the books I would need for college. I am a senior in college. Miss Dorothea chose the school I'd attend. It is basic classes such as biology, cooking and first aid. I kinda like it but I know I'll never get the chance to pursue a career. I am a nobody and there is no place in society for me. The only things I qualify for are taking out the trash and serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. "Y/n!! Get your ass downstairs and to college or does my belt need to remind you what college is?" I took a deep breath. I looked at the clock and realised I had to hurry if I wanted to arrive at school on time. I grabbed my bag and rushed downstairs. I got one final look filled with digust from miss Dorothea before I rushed out into the cold morning breeze. 

Six hours of boredom had passed and I was finally on my way back. Well not really on my way back. I was on my way to my favourite and final place. As I arrived at the back of the park and looked around. Noone around, except for two redheaded woman across the field but I doubt they've noticed me, great. I walked through the bushes towards the fence that divides the park and the ground where the avengers compound is located. I squeezed myself through the whole in the gate and then pulled my bag through. As I was climbing to the top of the hill I was thinking about what I was about to do. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want to end it. I have so many dreams and ambitions but I just can't do it anymore. I need to get away from her but no matter what I'll do or wherever I'll go I just know she'll find me..... I am done. 

I sat at the top of the hill just looking out over the fields. I have been here for roughly 4 hours and the sun has disappeared completely. The time has come. Finally I'll be able to let go. I open my back and take the note I wrote just in case out. I place it on the grass where I had sat all these years. I take a deep breath as tears start to form in eyes. "I am on my way mom and dad.... I love you. It's for the best" I walk to the edge of the hill where it ends abrubtly. I turn around to look at my comfort place one last time. "It's been enough. I'm letting go" with that I close my eyes, spread my arms and fall into the depts of my unconsciousness.