My Reason To Live

27

Warnings:
-Eating disorder behaviour
-Mentions self harm

George's POV

I looked back at Clay and his face was bright red. 'So,' he started.

'Uh- I guess uh- well-.'

From the nerves I started giggling and Clay rolled his eyes. 'If I wouldn't have had those sheets, dude.'

'You decided to undress, dumbass.'

'Because it's so uncomfortable,' he giggled.

'I'm going downstairs. Dress up and support me in this talk, please.'

Clay giggled and I kissed his cheek to show him I wasn't mad. I pulled my shirt on and slowly went downstairs to see my dad sit on a chair next to the table with three plates of dinner.

'Jason and Sapnap got some fries in the city,' my dad muttered.

'Uh- okay,' I quietly said, sitting down on my chair. 'So-.'

It was quiet and Clay slowly walked downstairs, sitting next to me at the table.

'Boys,' my dad mumbled. 'Did you at least uh- do it safely? You're both pretty young. I don't know, it was not something I expected you to do already, but it's fine.'

'Oh gosh, dad,' I muttered. 'We didn't have sex. We just uh- made out.'

'You didn't?'

'Yeah,' I said with a bright red face. 'Anyway, this is incredibly uncomfortable.'

I suddenly heard my dad giggle and I looked up at him.

'I mean, I was mostly concerned about the fact you were having sex with a boy you just met.'

'Uh- we didn't do that. I'm so uncomfortable.'

'So he was the cause of those strange bruises on your neck?' my dad said with a bright and teasing smile.

'So, how is your day?' I muttered as I rolled my eyes.

'It's great. George, I'll stop teasing you. It's fine with me whatever is happening here. Are you together?'

'Yes and no,' I muttered. 'We haven't officially asked each other.'

'It's fine, it's none of my business.'

'Does it matter that he's a boy?' I whispered.

'No,' my dad said as he took a bite. 'I decided to get kids so I have always just thought there was just as big of a chance of getting a straight kid as getting a homosexual kid.'

I smiled shyly. 'Thank you.'

'I'll introduce myself,' Clay muttered awkwardly. 'I'm Clay and uh- I'm seventeen. Uh- I like gaming and apparently I like guys too.'

My dad laughed, but his look turned more serious after that. 'Maybe I shouldn't comment on it, but I saw a lot of stitches and you have a cast. Did something bad happen?'

I shook my head at my dad. 'Don't.'

He nodded. 'I'm sorry. I wanted to know if I should be worried or if he just fell.'

'You don't have to be worried, but I didn't fall,' is all Clay said. He cleared his throat. 'Can I uh- maybe go to the toilet?'

'Yeah, it's there,' I said as I pointed to the hallway.

Clay nodded and stood up, causing my dad to pay attention to me not eating a single bite.

'Are you okay, sweetie? You can always talk to me. I just noticed you have barely been eating lately.'

I shrugged and took a small bite, looking away uncomfortably. My dad let the subject rest and I waited for Clay to come back. He came back a few minutes later with a red face and sat down, eating his dinner. I giggled since I realised he hadn't just gone to the toilet and he rolled his eyes as he saw me laugh.

I ended up pushing my plate away once Clay was done and we went upstairs again. I was giggling and smirked as I looked at him.

'What, idiot?' Clay grinned. 'Don't comment on it, okay?'

I laughed loudly and hugged him as I hid my face in his hoodie. 'You do that fairly often, don't you?'

'Shut up, it's your fault.'

I giggled and Clay smiled, laying down on the bed with me. He pulled me closer and let me rest my head on his chest. 'Georgie? I want to ask you something,' Clay said as he kissed my cheek and held my hand.

We cuddled up together and he ran his hand through my hair.

'George, I would love you to be my boyfriend, but only if you're ready obviously. I love you and I would love to be your boyfriend so I wanted to ask you that. Do you want to be my boyfriend?'

I had my face fill with a shy smile and a bright red blush. I nodded my head and wrapped my arms around his waist. 'I would love to be your boyfriend. I love you too.'

Clay smiled at me and pressed his lips on mine to share a gentle and sweet kiss. He broke the kiss a few seconds later and held my hand with a blush on his face.

'George, can you listen to me?'

'I am,' I muttered as I closed my eyes.

'I know we made out when we just met, but I want you to know that how much I like kissing and touching you, this relationship is not for sexual things to me. I genuinely love you. I would love to be with you and help you with your eating disorder and everything happening at school.'

I smiled and cuddled up even more to enjoy his warmth around me.

'I know we didn't talk much about your eating disorder, but I can see you're struggling a lot during dinner. I will help you as much as I can and support you. You're not alone, I'm with you in this battle against that terrible illness.'

I couldn't stop smiling and kept listening to him as he ran his hand through my hair.

'I actually want you to know that I'm not in this relationship for sexual stuff. I love you and not only your body or your looks. I'm also not some sort of idiot who constantly touches himself, it's just all really new to me and I'm getting used to what's fitting for me and what's not.'

'I don't think you're an idiot who only does that. I understand that it's new and it's for me too. I know it's not about the sexual things for you, but I'm still glad you've told me for sure.'

Clay kissed my face softly and smiled. 'Sleep, you're tired.'

I nodded and ended up falling asleep in his arms.

1067 words