The cut that always bleeds //Heesun//

11: 'sober' thoughts and thoughts

3rd Person Pov

Even though Sunoo didn't see that coming, he starts to kiss him back a little bit. What kind of feeling is this? The moment is way too breathtaking to think about the reason this happens.
Heeseung can't let go of him, those lips are just the best he ever kissed.
It's possible that the alcohol influenced this perfect feeling, but maybe he just really wanted to kiss him - even before drinking.
After a few very nice seconds, Heeseung distances himself just a little bit and whispers against his lips.
"Sweet.."
Sunoo just can't take what's going on. It feels great but this is so random, it's really just because he's drunk, right?
"Why would he ever kiss me.. He just wanted to taste my lips, the taste of the shots and I really......I want more"
Even if he tries, Sunoo can't think straight and just wants more of that tingly feeling.
Heeseung grins and looks at Sunoos whole face, up and down.
"I think you like me. But that's okay, don't worry I won't tell anyone and it'll go away after a while.."
The smaller boy just blinks a few times, trying hard to procces what he just said.
After waiting for a while, he finally tries to speak. But instead of a stable tone, he's just whispering.
"You kissed me .."
Heeseung looks at him with a questioning look.
"I tasted the shots!"
Ignoring that he's talking about the reason the two 'kissed', Sunoo needs a bit to realize. He sighs kinda stuttering and finally looks him in the eyes. He's still just whispering, but a little bit louder this time.
"YOU kissed.. ME..I didn't..I.. You... You did it"
Heeseung tries hard to understand and laughs when he gets the point of the in his eyes cute boy.
"And? It was great. Now let me do it again before I get sober again.."
He's not waiting any time.
He puts his other hand now on Sunoos waist too, turning and pulling him closer.
Heeseung doesn't wait or hesitate, he kisses him one more time.
This time it feels more intense, more wanting than before.
Even though Sunoo is scared that this will have consequences, he softly kisses him back.
Deep in his bones he feels how much he wanted this. His heart skips a beat and beats as fast as when they're about to perform. Maybe even faster...
Heeseung doesn't want to break the kiss, he moved so close that Sunoo has to tilt his head up to kiss back. He makes sure that he's the dominant part of the kiss and starts to move his hand up and down on Sunoos waist.
"Yeah.. let me kiss you.. this feels so great I don't want it to stop. Cute little boy, let me have control over this lips yeah"
They just continue kissing without much movement in it, just a long fireing kiss.
"Guys... OH... Bro Heeseung, you take what you take bro"
Jake walked over to them, collection a few empty bottles.
They break the kiss.
Sunoo looks away a bit shy and embarrassed, but Heeseung just stares at Jake.
"Bro piss off- what the hell"
Jake's whistles innocent.
"A man has needs too! Sorry for disturbing you two"
He leaves grinning, of course he tells the other two about it right away.
Surprisingly, no one of them has a problem or a weird feeling about Heeseung kissing a boy. Of course the reactions are surprised and a little bit disgusted at first, but then they laugh about.
"I mean Sunoo is kinda like a girl. He even has small tiddies too."
Geonu laughs and helps cleaning up.
"I touched them once as a joke and he tried to smack my arm, but it was so light..I didn't even really feel it."
Sunghoon joins him and starts to hide bottles.
Jake sighs, pouring some rest in the sink.
"Maybe he acts feminine, but he's still a boy. And I don't think Heeseung Hyung is just playing or something.. He seems to like Sunoo back. And that's great and we're happy for them. Understood?"
The others nod. Jake is kinda sad he interrupted them, but by any chance he'd like to watch them kiss again.
"That was so cute .. Yeah both of them just fit with the other"

Sunoo Pov

After Jake leaves I don't really move. I just stare at my hands in my lap, playing with my fingers. I suddenly hear Heeseung saying my name. I look up to him and I feel my heart drop right away. He's so breathtaking, I think I really like him...
"You should go to sleep.. You seem tired. Come on I'll take you to the bathroom, I don't wanna leave you alone with those three wild beasts.."
I don't really understand why he wants to accompany me, but I just go with it. I nod and we get up to go to the bathroom.
We don't touch the entire way there, but when we arrive Infront of the door, he hugs me.
It's not one of those drunk hugs where he would start to pat my back.. He's just holding me softly and his hands are moving over my back carefully.
"Thanks for this evening.. Take care of you!"
It must be one of those moments when guys start caring and kind of protecting. He pulls my Hoodie down, over my butt.
He's not touching it though and I feel kinda relieved.
"Sleep well. I'll join the others with cleaning up. When you need anything just come find me"
He leaves with a smile and I can't move my body for a while.

I enter the bathroom and I wash up.
But my thoughts aren't really here, in present. I start to really miss his hands and... Yes his lips.. tomorrow it'll be nothing for him but this was everything for me.
I think I knew it before.
I noticed I like him before today..
After taking a deep breath, I start to brush my teeth.
Heeseung hyung...
It's crazy that we didn't even know each other a few days ago.
I thought you hate me!
I thought you think I'm disgusting!
But now we kissed and I..I just can't calm down.
It felt so great, I really want to do it again. Maybe he likes me too!
What if he would've done that if he was sober too?
But didn't he say he wants to kiss me before there's no alcohol influence anymore?
Does that mean it was only one time for him?
Something that you address with 'once' when you talk about it?
I sigh.
I'm so scared of tomorrow, what if he tells everyone and says that he was drunk but I wasn't?
What if K will force me to give him a......you know what too?
I don't wanna get bullied because of this...
Is it so wrong to catch feelings?
I never wanted to... It was an accident!
I spit out the toothpaste and rinse my mouth.

I close my eyes and I see every moment infront of me.
The first evening we actually talked... The scene on the balcony. Wait... THE SCENE ON THE BALCONY! He gave me compliments and teased me the whole time.
My sister always said.. When a guys likes you, he'll act like he absolutely hates you. It's stupid but that's how boys are.
What if she's right? But... On one hand,
boys are like that when they like a girl.
And I'm not, so what if he was just joking around?
But on the other hand he always called me a girl, so maybe that was his way of telling me he is interested?
Or the way he touched me without a reason.. When I was just standing, he came up to me more than once and touched me.
He put his arm around me, stared at me through the mirror and he talks different to me than he does with others.
But what do I know.
I change into my pyjamas and leave the bathroom.
I hear people laugh on my way to the bedroom and I get scared immediately.
He told the others... I'm sure.
I lay in my bed and it try to numb those thoughts.
I should just enjoy the feeling as long as I can. If he's exposing me that badly It'll be my problem tomorrow, not now.
I try hard to fall asleep, but I just keep getting flashbacks...

3rd Person Pov

Heeseung joins the others after he left Sunoo at the bathroom.
As soon as he enters the kitchen, the others start whistling.
"Here comes the straightest gay I've ever seen"
Sunghoon laughs and hits Heeseungs shoulder.
"Boys have you ever seen his body though! He has curves, I swear! And his ass is nice too, it's not like I kissed...I don't know man, K Hyung or something.
You have to believe me it was awesome. But my brain isn't really working... Hopefully he forgot about the kiss tomorrow. I'll go to bed. And don't tell anyone else!"
Heeseung stumbles straight into his bed, not being able to have another thought before falling asleep.