Trooper Eli Has One Helluva Time

Chapter 3: The Hazbin Hotel

(Eli's pov)
I was amazed in the streets of hell. Normally, I thought hell would be a endless battelground where demons fight and kill relentlessly, but no It was a chill place in a city. Sure there were some demons trying to rob me, or doing something worse, instead...it turned poorly for them (Pretty much dead now).

Anyhow it was getting pretty late, so I decided to stay somewhere, nothing really caught my interest, expect for one place- the hazbin hotel. "Hazbin Hotel seems pretty spiffy, and nice, I'll check in."

I opened the entrance and saw two demons at a bar. One looks like a fluffy spider, the other, who is probably the bartender, definitely was a cat. They all eyed with suspicion at my appearance, however everyone does it, so I didn't mind it, all was well until.."DETENER!" (That's halt in Spanish) a woman with grey clothes and grey hair halted me with a spear, but since my instincts took action, I kicked her in the chest, sent flying to the bar before she could say anything.

The bartender dodged it and yelled "Hey go kick her off of some roof, not at me!" The fluffy spider said "Holy fucking he sent you flying, like a homeless child on a missile!" 'Jesus Christ. Can I not get a break?' I thought. I was beginning to regret my decision and decided to leave, before I could I hear someone say "Hey wait don't go!" I saw a another woman in black pants, white and black buttoned shirt. She walk towards me and nervously laughed

"Sorry about that, it's just Vaggie, just wants to protect me and this hotel from any demons who come in unaware." "Oh I didn't know that sorry." I chuckled, completely understanding the situation. "Yeahhhhh. Soooo are you here to redeem yourself for your sins?" She asked "Redeem my sins? Wha- okay you know what, let's just start from the bottom ok?" "Oh yeah sorry about that, my name is Charlie!" She exclaimed putting a wide, pure smile on her face. "My name is Eli, nice to meet you." I said, shaking hands with Charlie. She then saw Vaggie I kicked earlier struggling to get up, even with the spider's and cat's strength trying to help her stand, so she went to help.

"Ow, fucking hell." Vaggie groaned "Hey it's okay babe you'll be fine, we just need you to get some rest." Babe? Wait a minute. They're girlfriends? Now I feel even more horrible. "But I can't, not with that motherfu- "Oh my
GOD are going to shut up you taco." The spider complained. "Sorry about all of this, I'll have to talk to you later." I just nodded as Charlie helped Vaggie along the hallway.

"That swine never listens to a thing!" Some unknown figure said appearing from the darkness. I balled my fists up, ready to fight when all of the sudden the demon, the deer demon said "Ohoho, you not need to worry about me my good gentleman, I am Alastor, great pleasure to meet you Eli!" Alastor said with such enthusiasm shaking my hand.

"Heyyyyyy my sweet strawberry pimp~" said the spider, the cat demon just pulled a middle finger at Alastor while he drank more alcohol. Alastor still smiled, although I could tell there was a side of salt. He also probably was eavesdropping on the whole thing, so I didn't questioned on how he knew my name. "Ugh thanks Alastor. Are you the hotel owner of this establishment?" Alastor turned around and said "Actually no, Charlie is! The princess of hell!" Holy shit! The princess of hell? Running a hotel? "Now this may seem like a silly question, but why is the princess of hell, running a hotel?" "Charlie thinks she can rehabilitate a demon to heaven! But of course that's whacky nonsense! I helped her run this hotel for my own entertainment! I want to watch the scum if the world to climb up the hill of benefit! Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure~" Alastor explained with a sadistic manner. That gave me the chills at the last part. "Riiiiiiiiiiight." I said "Well it was a nice talk with you Alastor, but I should book a room right now." "Well then, off you go!" Alastor said in a jolly mood. I walked up to the...desk? Bar? I'm not sure. "I'll be staying here for a couple of months." I said to the cat demon "here." He said, give me keys to room 406 "now stop bothering me." He said irritated,

I nodded and start to go to the elevator when 2 pairs of arms touch my body "~hey there hot stuff~" before I knew it I threw him in a panic. He slammed against the wall, coughing before saying "What the hell is wrong with you!? Can't I have some fun?" "Listen here, I'm going to say this once, I do NOT LIKE sexual activities performed on me by some pervert. You got that?" I said with anger and embarrassment. "Okayyyyyy." The spider said standing up and sitting on the couch that was beside him. "The names Angel Dust by the way sugar." Angel said with a smile.

Just then I heard the elevator open as Charlie and Vaggie coming out, I smiled in relief when they arrived. "Hey guess who's back? Me!" Charlie said while rubbing her cheeks. "Hey Charlie, gonna to talk now." I said. as much as I like it here, I would love to get in my room and just sleep. "Oh of course! Everybody gather around." Charlie said. All at once, everybody gathered behind Charlie "So, who would like to start first?" "Me darling!" Alastor said with pleasure.

(Time skip because I just can't like...)

Now with everyone out of the way, it was my turn, thank god. "My name is Eli, I am unit in the Soviet's special forces of the oblask dam. The oblask dam is a base setup to experiment on a ancient organism we found that was 10,000 years old. Some soldiers volunteered to be experimented on with the creature's DNA to become super soldiers, only to have... dreadful results, like creating hybrid mutants and the undead." I took a moment to look at everyone's reactions, Alastor had a very wide smile on his face, clearly entertained, Charlie and Vaggie had scared look on their faces, and Husk and Angel were interested. Anyways I continued "The mutants were placed under maximum security, while the undead was sealed in the digging site, and since then no one has ever been able to go there ever since." I decided to not tell them about the incident with the portal and everything. They still had the same expressions as before. "My, My how that was very entertaining! Really wished I could see such a site at such freaks!" Alastor said with a absolute joy. "Must felt like the rush, huh?" Angel chuckling. "I could say that was pretty good." Husk said drinking a whole bottle of alcohol down. "I couldn't imagine the horror you witnessed!" Charlie said with a horrified expression, and Vaggie just stood there staring at the ground.

"Oh wow would you look at the time!" Charlie suddenly "It's for us to go to bed!" 'THANK GOD!' I internally screamed. I finally got took the elevator, got to my room and headed straight for the bed. Next morning I wake up, stretching as much as I can before I hear someone knocking at my door. I open it to a small one eyed demon, supposedly a maid around here. "Oh hello there missy, I suppose you here to clean my roo-"

the demon latched on to me and I saw a crazed look on her eyes "OH MY LUCIFER OH MY LUCIFER OH MY LUCIFER IT'S A MAN HELLO MY NAME IS NIFFTY WHAT'S YOUR NAME WHAT CLOTHES YOU USE WHAT HOBBIES DO YOU LIKE DO YOU-" "WHOA CHILL!" I exclaimed, that seemed to get her off of me "O-Oh sorry haha, I didn't know what got over me." NIFFTY said "apology accepted Niffty." I say "But still I have to ask, what's your name?" "Eli." I said "Eli. That's a nice name." Niffty said in a sweet voice "Wellllll aren't you going to tell my about yourself?" 'Oh god...not this again.' I thought

(Time skip)

"Well it was nice meeting with you Eli!" Niffty exlamied. "Yeah you too." I say 'good now that I found a place to stay and know my surroundings in hell, I can get the job Blitz wanted me to have yesterday.' I thought. I went to the Lobby and saw Charlie, I walked Vaggie and apologized for kicking her in the chest yesterday, all she said in return was "thank you I guess..." Before walking off, then I asked Charlie "Hey Charlie, do you know where the I.M.P business resides, I'm going to get a job there." "At Imp city." Charlie said "thank you." I say in satisfaction knowing I'm going to be all set in hell. "You're welcome, safe travels!" Charlie exlamied to me before I headed out to the streets of hell again once more.

A/N (I told you I would make these chapters longer hehehe...jokes aside that took the energy out of me to write this chapter, but it was really fun too! Goodnight y'all!)