Clouds || E & C

six // ellie's POV

The snowstorm rages outside, leaving us shut in for the day. My parents aren't home yet, so it doesn't matter if I stay at Carson's anyway; they won't notice the difference.

This is where I must spend most of my time. It feels more like home when there's actually more than one person living in a house together as a family.

I turn to gaze out the window, and I can still make out the outline of our huge gray house through the storm. It isn't really gray, but the snow has changed the color of the outside world, thus making it look gray, like the sky on a cloudy day. The house may as well be gray, since there's almost no life in it these days. When I'm not wishing for them to be home, I'm wishing for a sibling, or a dog, or some other form of life, any form, to keep me company.

"Where are they?" Carson asks, noticing me looking. We're sitting on his couch together, snuggled under a quilted blanket of his and watching Frosty the Snowman on ABC. Studying was over a while ago.

I shrug, tired of saying 'I don't know' because that's my reply usually when I'm asked about them. But it means the same thing. It's all I can say.

"Miss them?" he asks. I just shrug again, because how can I miss them if I barely know them anymore?

Carson turns back to the movie of the animated snowman. His golden-yellow hair is wild atop his head, probably because my own fingers were tangled in it this morning.

My face heats just remembering Hannah's sure-fire expression of amusement at us, out of control in our feelings.

Pretty sure something went out of control.

I couldn't shake the...well, shaky feeling I got whenever I thought about Carson. My...dream last night proved I obviously felt more about him than I ever did. How he even knew about that I don't know.

But we're supposed to be best friends.

He's not supposed to be anything else.

He's just teaching me the ropes of dating, because I agreed to it and because he wants to help. I shouldn't feel any attraction to him, he's just my teacher, he's just my best friend. This is a deal that we both made, and I'm sure he doesn't feel that way about me anyway. It's why he offered, because he wants to help, and that's it--

...right?

I feel his dark blue eyes on me now, and I struggle to clear my flushed cheeks. Not only do I feel shaky when I think about him, I also feel that way when he watches me, or when he gets near me, and especially then I can never stop my heart from wanting to burst from my chest.

"Want some popcorn?" he asks, and I force myself to turn and meet his stare. "Sure." I agree, and I sigh in relief when he finally gets up and moves away. I wipe the sweat from my palms anywhere I can.

My phone vibrates then, and it's another text from Nate. He's been texting me throughout the day, and he proves to be a pretty good distraction from Carson and my really confusing feelings about him.

Nate is the first guy I've really texted since about first grade. We've been in the some of the same junior high classes, and he's nice and definitely a friend now.

I couldn't have even spoken to him if it weren't for Carson.

"Let me know if it's great, because I already know it will be." Carson comes back with the popcorn then, and my nerves lock up as he sits next to me again, now with a huge hot bowl of buttery goodness. I grab a couple pieces. Sure enough, it's great, but I decide to tease him a little. "It's alright." I say with a small smile.

"Just alright?! You're insane." Carson exclaims with narrowed eyes as he tries it himself.

"Liar." he says as he catches my bluff, crunching on the popcorn. "Just for that, no more for you."

"What? That's so not fair!" I reach for the bowl but he's already moving it away with a smirk.

Pouting, I pull my phone back out and swipe across to text Nate back, but as soon as it comes up, Carson grabs my phone.

"We're watching a movie. No texting." he says arrogantly.

"Carson! Give me my phone." I snap, moving for it.

He avoids my hand and scrolls through our messages. "Ooooooh, it's Nate the lover. Got a crush on him already?"

"Carson, stop!" I growl, grabbing for it again, and practically jumping on top of him. He stops snooping, but his arm fastens around my waist and holds me close.

And by close, I mean he eliminates ALL space between us.

I freeze, especially right between my legs, as I realize his crotch is right up against me for the second time today. I clench my teeth at the tingling feeling but I can't help but blush at his expression.

"Give it to me." I try again, but he just tightens his hold on me. I need to get away from him.

"Sure." he says quietly, and gives me my phone, but he doesn't let me go. As much as I want to push myself away, I also...don't, and I can't.

"Lesson six, cuddling." he whispers.

My mouth opens to say the words "Let go", but I can't make them come out, because his hand is slipping down my back, further and further and further...

No. I can't do this. Best friends don't do this.

"Stop." I force myself to snap, and I push away from him, yanking the blanket away and storming to the bathroom. I don't have to go, but I do have to clear my head.

When the door shuts behind me I lean against it and slide all the way down to the floor, breathing heavily. I can feel the hotness in my cheeks, and I press together my legs to stop the tingling.

He's getting to me.

I'm only going to end up hurting myself if I keep falling for him.

I need to get out of here.

I've already made out with him once today, and I'm bent not to get that far again. If I fall for him, it won't end well. He doesn't like me like that, and I'll only break my own heart.

But my whole body protests now...

No. Carson's my best friend, and I won't fall for him. I'll keep control. I have to.

Taking slow deep breaths, I slow my whirlwind of thoughts in my head and focus. A new text from Nate startles me, my phone vibrating against my leg.

-Hey, you want to hang out today? I know this great coffee place in town.

Yes. The perfect distraction. And Carson will be happy that I'm already interacting with other guys now.

The perfect way to clear my pinpricking thoughts.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Another great chapter. :)

Sorry I'm a day late. I thought I'd update both stories on the same day.

Thanks for the reads and votes! Keep them up!

- kayci