Love is blind

Chapter 9

"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!"

'I have gotten carried away! I got lost! Suddenly, there was only her; I almost couldn't even think about the guards.'

How could I have done that to her? She didn't deserve it! She deserved someone who would watch over her constantly, never touch her without permission, and put her well-being above all. But, what else could I have done? Let them lock her up again? Wouldn't that be worse?

I stopped my steps and let myself fall on my belly to the thick layer of snow buring my face as deep as I could.

Did I really just want to help? Didn't I want it? Haven't I enjoyed it? Haven't I felt as if I was fulfilling my greatest wish?

Yes. And no. Not that way. But yet... her skin, her breath, her lips on mine, her hands clinging to me...

Her hands clinging to me. Why? Why didn't she kick me? She was perfectly capable of doing it. And why had she kissed me? I was in no condition to ask, but... was it again her eagerness to discover new sensations? Had she been carried away by the emotion of the moment? Or... would she really want it? Would she really want me?

I rolled over out of the pure need to fill my lungs with air again and lay on my back.

It was her first kiss as well...

A tear ran down my face until it sneaked annoyingly into my ear.

And what did she mean that the next kiss would be better? Her next kiss or ours? Better because it wouldn't be with me or better because it wouldn't be out of necessity but out of pleasure?

"And what should I do from now on?"

'The firewood!'

I got up, shook the snow off my body, and rocked my head. Afterward, I quickly went to get the firewood and went back into the cabin where she was waiting for me, perfectly dressed and sleeves all rolled up; ready for action.

"It took you an eternity!"

"I'm sorry..."

"Are you going to say something else today? Because, if not, is going to be a super boring day."

"Yeah, I'm so... I mean..."

"Hey," she said approaching me with determination. "You saved my ass, okay? I don't want you to feel bad. It hasn't been that bad, anyway. You don't kiss bad at all, you know?"

She gave me a mischievous smile and elbowed my ribs as my colors rose to the sky, and then, she turned back to the kitchen.

"What of is the soup going to be?"

"How about parsnip?" I answered, recovering little by little my spirits and composure.

"Great! And, how do we do that?"

She did it: she made me laugh. How did she do it to make me feel so good? What kind of spell there was in her?

"Well, to start, we should peel, wash, and chop them, and then..."

"And, what I'm gonna do?"

"Uh... Wash them?"

"Huhhh? But I want to peel them!"

"No way! How am I going to give you a knife to do something you've never done before without seeing where you put it? Do you want to complete the day by losing a finger?"

"Fiiine. Then, you will move my arms in while I take the distances."

"Uh... Anna..."

"Pretty please... I want to learn new things..."

I huffed in surrender. I just couldn't deny it to her. That wonder of a woman needed a world and I had promised it to her. On the other hand, she didn't seem to be giving the slightest importance to what had happened.

"You win..."

"Yess!!!"

I prepared the pots, she stood in front of the table, and I got right behind her. I offered her the knife and the first parsnip and took her hands carefully, leaving a generous margin between her body and mine.

"You can get closer, you know? I doubt you can see what you do from there."

"But I... I do not want to..."

How to say it?

"Hey," she whispered, leaning her body back until it took refuge in mine. "I've told you before and I keep it: I trust you; you can get closer."

I didn't know if I really deserved her trust, but I would do my best to deserve it. I nodded, not even knowing if she would perceive it and I got closer to the table, making us being completely nestled against the other, feeling her small figure completely enveloped by mine, and I made sure to teach her how to peel that parsnip so that she could do it again for herself whenever she wanted.

"Kristoff..." she suddenly said as we chopped the last parsnip.

"Hm?"

"What color is your hair?"

"I'm blond, why?"

"Because I want to imagine you a little better. Light blonde, dark blonde, platinum?"

"I dunno. Just blond. Halfway, maybe?"

"And who did you get it from?"

"I have no idea. I am adopted and I don't remember my biological parents."

"You are adopted?

"Uh-huh."

"And, you like your current family?"

"Well, they are VERY quirky, but I would be lying if I said I don't like them."

"That's great."

"I guess it is."

We finished chopping the last vegetable for the soup and I pulled my body away from hers as she turned animatedly toward me.

"Kristoff..."

"Tell me."

"I want to meet your family!!"